Week 52: Dec 23rd-31st..The last days of 2013

It is the last day of 2013, so it is only right that I am completing my last entry for my 52 weeks.

1. Did Peacock lane  in Portland with J, my best friend, her husband, and their children. It was awesome to experience it with all of them.

2. Shopping time with my best friend never disappoints.

3. Spent Christmas Eve at my dad's house with the family. Got to wear my gorgeous Bettie Page dress J got me for my birthday and spend time with my family.

4. Spent Christmas morning with my best friend and her family and the day at my mom's house. J's dad even came to celebrate with us.

5. We took the long way back when driving down to Oakland, The downside, it takes a looong time, but the upside is driving through the redwoods and Avenue of the Giants :)

Week 51: Dec 16th-22nd= More home time goodness

Since I was home, I am slacking on the updates. I credit that to just enjoying my time home too much. But, today I am back and it was back to work for me so before the new year begins... I am finishing up my last year's resolution tonight!

1. I went to the movies with my sister. We went to see Delivery Man, I love me some Vince Vaughn and popcorn.

2. Had pizza and drinks at my other sister's house and my dad and his wife stopped by.

3. Baked Christmas cookies with my god daughters and best friend and watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas (original, cartoon version..my fave!)

4. Christmas shopping with my sister and J in Portland

5. Went to the movies with a couple of friends. Saw Anchorman 2, which was absolutely hilarious!

Week 50: Dec 9th-15th Hoooooome!!

I'm posting late. (go figure) but I am home for the holidays, so I am doing everything a bit slower these days, which is actually quite lovely. 

My 5 things:

1. Drove up north on Friday with J and the pup. We'll be home until after Christmas; the time is already going by way too quickly but I'm thankful I have it.

2. Stopped off during our 11 hour jaunt up north to let the pup run around in the snow. He was pretty stoked on it and even made some yellow snow ;)

3. Since we are staying with my best friend, I've been able to have some quality time with her and it has been WONDERFUL!

4. We went with our best friends and my goddaughters to see these houses in Camas, WA where the Christmas lights on the houses go along to music that is on a certain radio station. It was absolutely awesome.

5. We went to the swap meet with J's dad on Sunday and scored some pretty sweet items.

Week 49: Dec 2nd-8th-Patience...have any to spare, good sir?

SO much in life is requiring me to have patience right now, and frankly I'm just fresh out.
Leaving for home in 4 days, Christmas is in 16 days, I have 3 more days of work...and really, the most frustrating part about all of this waiting, is that I am still waiting to hear back about internships.
My total as of now: Heard from 6 sites, ALL rejections. Still waiting on 9 sites to get back to me, so I know there are still some good chances out there... but just one rejection, right after the other, I mean... c.mon. Cut me some slack here. Not only am I refreshing my email every 20 minutes, but the off chance there is an email about a site...it's been a rejection. ROUGH. The 15th is the deadline in which all sites need to let you know. That countdown= 6 days until I'll know all my internship fate.
Not only does this all require patience, but it requires optimism/faith/hope whatever you'd like to label it. I need it, and I am really struggling to conjure any up.

My 5 things:
1. Went to the gym 3 times: Treadmill, elliptical/bike split another day, and then yoga. I'm growing to love my Saturday afternoon yoga class.

2. I finished up a craft I'd been working on as a thank you to those who have contributed to my fundraiser.

3. Started a new craft, one I'd never done before and managed to make SIX of them. Being secretive is necessary around the holidays, but I plan to boast openly about them post-Christmas ;)

4. Baked a pumpkin pie... just because.

5. Made "krispies" as J calls them, or Saltine toffee as others call it. So delicious!

Week 48: Nov 25th-Dec 1st: My 'Christmas Crazy' officially shines through

Now that the holidays are approaching, I'm finding it much easier to find 5 things each week that are beneficial to me. Anything Christmas related with make my list, and I try to do any and everything Christmas related, as often as I can ;)

My 5 things:

1. Went to the gym once for yoga. Unfortunately, I was left utterly useless for days after that spinning class last week.

2. Went on a hike on Thanksgiving morning with J and Riley. It was Riley's 1st hiking experience, he was kind of a little shit but that was to be expected. It was the same hike J and I did last Thanksgiving, we decided to continue the tradition this year.

3. J and I made an entire Thanksgiving feast for ourselves. We took on everything from the turkey to the sweet potatoes. All in all, it was really awesome, despite not being able to be with family.

4. Baked Gingerbread cookies for the first time ever.

5. Spent my Saturday, while J went and did man things, by myself watching silly Christmas movies and working on Christmas crafts/gifts.

Week 47: Nov 18th-24th=self care at its best (and worst!)

Got another rejection today. This time, from a site in Alabama. I am less attached to the idea of this site, although the irony is that I had it listed as one of my "safe sites" as in, I thought I had the best chances of getting an interview for that one. Hmph. Whoops.

My 5 things:

1. I went to the gym 3 times: 1st time was a session with a personal trainer. He had me doing stair runs and my IT band got really angry with me about that. I also did yoga and tried spinning for the first (and quite likely LAST) time. Holy hell, I seriously almost didn't make it out of there alive.

2. I turned in all my applications so they're all completed. I even turned in a few early that don't have due dates until the end of the month.... all that just in time to get more rejections. (being a negative Nancy some how makes it easier, I guess).

3. J and I watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation :) Man, I absolutely love Christmas. 

4. I met up with some of my friends for beer and good eats to catch up down in the south bay. It was totally worth the 45 mile drive for me. I haven't seen some of those girls in months.

5. Last night I accepted an invite to a random club in Oakland to see a band called Vagabondage with a girl from my program whom I've never actually hung out with one on one. It turned out to be a really great time and the other bands that played were awesome as well. 

Week 40: Sept 30th-Oct 6th: ho-hum but no bottle of rum.

This week J is gearing up to head to Oklahoma City for an art show he is doing at a gallery there. I will be in single-mom territory as it will be just the pup and me for 5 days. I'm not looking forward to that but I am excited for J's art show, he's created some pretty amazing things and it is great that others outside of the bay area will get to see them first hand. 

My 5 things:

1. I looked into gyms in my area. Perhaps if I pay for motivation... it's crazy enough it just might work. I basically need someone telling me what to do and how long to suffer and do it (ie taking classes at a gym). I even contacted one gym, but have yet to go in and get a pricing. I am reluctant because we really cannot afford it, although J seems pretty supportive about figuring it out if it is what I want. (Hmm..is he trying to tell me something?).

2. I met up with a friend over the weekend and we went to lunch. We also took the pup to a dog park. I drove all the way to the south bay (about 45 miles) to visit with her. The distance is the reason it is rare I ever see any of my school friends. Seems like a long trek just for a few hours of social time.

3. We took the dog to the dog park a few times. It's nice to get outside and even (gasp!) socialize with other people. Plus I think we felt guilty because we took him in to get his balls chopped today. Poor pup.

4. Yesterday morning we got up early and J and I stopped to get a coffee and breakfast treat at a little coffee shop near the dog park. We almost always have coffee at home, so it's a rarity that we splurge on anything like that.

5. I enlisted my sisters in some future plans. I am what I have deemed "Christmas Crazy" as in, absolutely crazy about Christmas. I love everything about it and start getting excited around September and the excitement does not let up for months. I decided that my sisters and I need more quality time (since I am only ever up there in the PNW for a few weeks out of the year). I let them know yesterday that we will be getting Christmas crafty when I come up in December with baked goods, crafts, and Christmas music. Planning for Christmas things makes my heart happy. It helps that they agreed ;)  

Christmas #1

Only 4 more days until we're homeward bound for the holidays.
My boyfriend and I decided that since we're traveling for the holidays, it didn't make much sense to pack our presents to each other in our suitcases and lug them 700 miles to open them up, only to pack them back up and return with them (little did I realize my gift wouldn't have fit in his suitcase anyway!) We decided to do our own little mini Christmas here with each other before we head up to the PNW for the actual holidays.
So Saturday, the 15th we had our own little Christmas holiday. We opened presents in our pajamas, played our new game of Monopoly (one of my gifts to him) and watched Home Alone 1,2 & 3...(although I tried to warn him that the 3rd one wasn't worth watching). We also watched my absolute most favorite Christmas movie, the original cartoon version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
In between our movie marathon and game playing we went to Christmas Tree Lane, in Alameda.

 Armed with layers of warmth and a thermos of homemade hot chocolate we walked up and down the street filled with Christmas lights, music, people, and holiday cheer!
J had never been to any place like this that he could remember so it was fun to be able to do something like this together. Plus, I'm game for any and everything Christmas related!
So lets get back to these presents I was talking about. We opened the ones that were wrapped. J told me that one of my gifts would be arriving in the mail in a few days, so I only had 1 to open. The one I did open was the awesome singing bird clock I wanted that sings a different bird song each hour, on the hour. I wanted to hear the clock and we needed batteries for it to work. J said "I think maybe there are some in the office" so I went in search of batteries. I walk into the office and SURPRISE! A shiny red bicycle appears!

J had of course tricked me saying my other gift was "in the mail" and had this beauty stashed down in the garage (which is his man-cave woodshop and I never go down there). Tricky man he is. This gift was a group effort made possible by J, his dad, my mom, and my brother-in-law.
This gift is in part because J wants me to ride with him, but also because of my knee injury and my difficulties with running, they all wanted me to have a way to exercise without doing more damage to my knee. Although I don't want to give up running, this is quite a lovely way to get outside as well :)
So today, despite a forecast for rain... we were determined to ride.

My first bike ride in over a year and my very first time on a road bike. 10 miles later and my butt is sore, my legs feel a bit like jello, and my knee is well aware it was used today. It sure felt great to be outside, riding with J. Him being such an avid rider, I've definitely wanted to get a bike and be able to share his love for them. Granted, I am not anywhere near up to his level, nor will I ever be...but it was still nice to ride along side him for awhile :)

After all of this, it feels like Christmas is over. Then I remember that in 4 days, we get to board a plane and see all our loved ones up north and begin the actual, crazy, huge, loud, fun, amazing Christmas festivities awaiting us up there!

Christmas past, present, and future

It's the Christmas season.
It never fails, no matter what, to be my absolute most favorite time of the year.
I don't know when it all started, but over the years I've morphed into the BIGGEST Christmas crazy person I know.
Christmas has always been a favorite of mine...but as I get older, it becomes more and more for me.
Obviously, as a child the presents were a major element for me.
But even then, it was always more. It was about believing in something, about bringing family together, about the magic of Christmas.

I remember one year I think it was '92 or '93, I was being greedy and wanted to know what I was getting. I went under the tree and carefully unwrapped all the presents with my name on them, peaked to see what I was getting, and then ever so carefully wrapped them back neatly. That was by far, one of the most disappointing Christmases. There was no element of surprise, there was no wonder or anticipation. I knew the things I wanted that I already had, and the things I didn't even like.. now I had to open them and pretend I didn't totally hate them. That was the last year I ever peaked at anything and from then on I've made it a point to stay in the dark about any gifts, even when people try to tell me or give me hints. 
I'm actually surprised none of my 5 older siblings ever tried to burst my bubble about Santa.
I suppose even if they had tried, I wouldn't have allowed it any way. I believed for a long, long time. Right up until that moment in '95 where I came down the stairs Christmas morning and saw my dad filling our stockings.I remember rushing back up stairs and hiding in bed with my eyes shut tight, trying to erase the horror of what I'd just witnessed. I was crushed. The magic was gone! You'd think that would have ruined Christmas for me for years.
Then there was the first Christmas after my parents divorced. The 1st year of many "double Christmases" to come. Anyone coming from a divorced family knows the politics involved, the negotiating, the bribes, the guilt, the time management, the double gifting, the fighting and bickering. It was a lot for a 13 year old to handle. It put a damper on what Christmas had always been for me, I felt the tug-of-war that I'd feel for...well for the rest of my life. I still deal with this tug-of-war, although as an adult it's slightly easier to manage. That Christmas was the first time we'd changed our "traditions". For 13 years of my life we'd celebrated the same way, and suddenly it was all changing. It felt like something had been stolen from me.
If only then I'd know the changes of Christmas traditions would continue throughout the years.
There was the 1st Christmas after my cousin who'd been my best friend growing up and my partner in crime for everything had converted to a religion that did not celebrate holidays. So many of my holiday traditions involved specifically her. I mourned the loss of her for many Christmases to come and still find I miss her most near Christmas time. I can still see her, but these visits no longer include so many of the memories we made year after year.
In '07, it was the first year after the horrible events that lead up to my family dividing in two. For my entire life, we'd always went to my Grandparents house on Christmas Eve. Even after their passings, we still went to the same house, and celebrated with our huge, loud, fun family. We never broke tradition, ever. That is, until a select few of us upset the herd, we spoke out against another family member and aided in him being put in prison for over a decade. This marked the first Christmas we were not welcome at  my grandparents house and were not allowed to participate in the traditions we'd spent our whole lives taking part in. That marked the first year of attempting to build new traditions. It's been a rough adjustment for all of us. Each year is a bit different, still trying to figure out what the new traditions entail. My dad has done his best to make it special for us all, despite the large elephant in the room that I often feel responsible for.
In '10, I thought I'd be coming home for the holidays to see my family and the man who'd promised to marry me. Just before Thanksgiving that year, he gave me the news that he had other plans. He'd broken up with me and a few weeks before Christmas, I'd learn he had gotten back together with his ex. This was heartbreaking and lead to the most difficult holiday season I'd faced yet. He'd robbed me of the magic, my ability to believe it something bigger, and that Christmas I merely went through the motions of the holidays, but wasn't present at all. I'd lost all hope for everything and Christmas was no exception.

Despite all the heartbreak and disappointment of Christmases past, there were so many other years where my memories will forever live in my heart. I don't think I could ever turn my back in Christmas, no matter how close I came in the past. The toughest lesson to learn in life is that change is inevitable, and traditions will be broken. This allows for new traditions, new additions, and new memories to be made and Christmas is no exception here either.

This Christmas won't be like others, but in some ways it will be exactly the same. I won't be able to spend it with everyone I'd like to, it won't go as planned, but I am able to spend it with some wonderful people, I do have a very special man who survived the holidays with my family last year and actually wants to return again. I also get to be a part of some lovely little kiddos Christmas memories, that they can look back at when they're my age and remember as fondly as I do mine.
The years I was so wrapped up in what Christmas should be or how it used to be or who should have been there I wasn't being fair to all those that were there, and continue to be there. I wasn't being fair to my niece and nephews whose Christmas memories I am a part of. My new years resolution this year was the focus on what I can do instead of worrying about what I can't do..and again, Christmas isn't an exception here. I can't change the past, I can't control the future but I CAN enjoy the holidays with my family and do my best to make it memorable for us all.
 Although it's been said, many times, many ways... Merry Christmas to you :)

The crazy weekend of Christmas

Oh the holidays. All that commotion and rushing, cooking, planning and shopping, wrapping, hiding, cleaning and spending and then just like that, it's over. So quickly it's almost like it didn't happen.
All in all, this was a wonderful Christmas. I got to spend it with my family and that is honestly what is most important.
It's not how it used to be, and although there are parts I really miss... over the years we've developed some new traditions and made it feel more like Christmas again.
Oh and that Amazon Prime present I was so stoked on...I guess I got the wrong size.:/
The good news: free return shipping. Thanks again, Amazon :)
For my nephew's birthday (Dec 1st) I surprised him with a birthday gift of a snowboarding trip.He had never been before and I'd been wanting to take him boarding for many years but never got around to it so I finally decided that for his 11th birthday, that is what we were going to do.

We went up the day after Christmas. we made it a group trip and it was me, my boyfriend, my nephew and his parents.
It was my first time up in almost 4 years. My sister had never been either and her husband had been up once before.There were a lot of falls, a lot of crashes, a lot of cold hands and faces and a fair amount of pain but I'd say overall it was a really great trip.  We're all recovering now with a lot of sore muscles and bruises... but it was definitely a memorable trip. So glad I finally got to take him up there. He said on the ride home
"Thanks aunt Brandi. now I can officially say I'm a snowboarder" :)

Christmas shopping in the year 2011

What I have learned this Christmas:

Amazon Prime is a lifesaver.
After days of searching for a specific item for my boyfriend and it being unavailable at every store I went to or called I was beginning to lose hope for this very important gift.
Then I remembered I had Amazon Prime with Amazon.
You really can't beat it.
Free 2 day shipping guaranteed, easy one click purchase I was able to do it while standing in the store of disappointment that didn't have what I need.
Oh how times have changed...but it sure did save my butt. Ordered it yesterday, was delivered today! More than enough time to wrap it too :)
I still have more shopping to do, but at least I'm not longer stressing about this gif. 
I sound like an advertisement for Amazon ;)

My Christmas season begins tomorrow!

I leave tomorrow to head up to the good ol' PNW for what I am hoping to be a wonderful Christmas season.
I feel like I just can't start my "season" until I'm back home.
Even though Nor Cal makes for a much better winter season than say, Hawaii...it's not home.
I'm not surrounded by family and I'm not absolutely freezing my buns off.
I have had the time (and surprisingly the funds and the room in my suitcase) to start my shopping early.
I realized today though, that I haven't done hardly any of it.
It just doesn't feel right down here. Christmas shopping alone isn't much fun anyway, but then being so far away and not being able to wrap it yet anyway, I just can't bring myself to do it.
I am in the Christmas spirit for sure. I've been watching ABC family's 25 days of Christmas ridiculously cheesy movies, baking holiday inspired goods, listening to the Glee Christmas CD on repeat in my car, I even bought a holiday scented candle and have been lighting it often... but you can only do so much alone before it just starts to make you a little sad.

Yes, that is me, pouting in the front.

I am so grateful that I have my family. I really am. It may not be the family it used to be, but what remains is absolutely wonderful. I forget that some people don't have that. Some of my best friends are related to me and that makes me oh-so-very lucky.
I really do love Christmas time :) and I cannot wait to get up there and get this season really going!

Ugly Christmas Sweaters

I love anything Christmas related.
I love it even more when it allows me to be over the top and what I like to call 'Christmas Crazy'.
That being said, I am ecstatic that the Ugly Christmas Sweater Party has become an annual tradition :)
The party is planned for the 17th, a few days after I return to the great PNW.
Now, last year I had to get creative because you cannot find much these days at local thrift stores because other people have caught on to how amazing Christmas attire is. (or they just have these parties to go to?)
So last year consisted of taking a plain red sweater with detachable faux black fur (still a pretty sweet find in and of itself!) and using glitter paint and small stuffed figures from my mom's countless Christmas decorations and pinning them to my sweater.

Paired with a snowman filled turtleneck, argyle Christmas socks with faux white fur, snowflake earrings and a headpiece adorned with mistletoe and my outfit last year was a success!
The party this year is held at the same place so a lot of the same people as last year will be there, which means I've got to kick it up a notch. There will be no repeats of last year's outfit (although some pieces may make an appearance because they're just too good not to!)
I've got a number of Christmas items back home: a lovely vest with snowmen, an actual Christmas sweater I swiped from a garage sale this summer and the pieces seen here... but I want something better than those.
I'm thinking suspenders and puff paint but I suppose we'll wait and see what I end up with. I think this weekend I should thrift store it up and see what I can conjure up down here, then maybe hit the craft store after.
Did I mention I love Christmas?

Christmas Lists

One reoccurring theme in my life for the past 5 or so years has been distance.
I'm away at school while my loved ones are all back home.
Around the holidays is when this fact becomes the most apparent.
Thankfully, now that I am not an ocean away, I'm able to spend most holidays at home and also partake in the holiday traditions with my family during my holiday visits.
Last week, while home for Thanksgiving, I was able to attend the annual Christmas Bazaar with my mom, sister, nephew, sister-in-law and her mom. There were a few years I missed out on this living in Hawaii. It's tiring, sometimes annoying, busy, full of people and provides sensory overload.
BUT...it's a tradition. We go every year, even if we don't buy anything. It is just something we do together.
I was very thankful I was able to go this year since I was actually in town when it was going on.
Today, one of my sisters sent me her Christmas List so that I can help my mom shop for her (another tradition, Mom gives us kids money to do her shopping so we all end up with things we really can use and like and it saves Mom some of the hassle of shopping since she has an entire village to shop for) and since we now pick names between siblings (tough times) it gives us a chance to still enjoy picking out gifts for our siblings.
Her list made me giggle and was an adorable idea. She cut and pasted a number of photos to give ideas of what she was talking about.

We used to do this when we were younger, but it initially involved the Toys-R-Us great big Christmas book and circling tons of toys I didn't even really want I just go so excited about the possibilities.
Then later, it was on Thanksgiving we'd all draw names and then sit down to write out our multiple lists and give them to the cousin who drew our name,  Grandma, and our godparents.
Times are oh so much different now for so many reasons, and this no longer occurs.
So with my sister's idea at hand, I made my own list to send to her to help her with Mom's shopping and emailed her back with it.

Complete with photo examples to help her get a clear picture (yes, pun intended) of what I was talking about.
This interaction with my sister warmed my heart. Although I'm 700 miles away, thanks to technology, we're able to make out Christmas lists together this year :)

Holidays, oh and school too of course.

I absolutely love, love, love the holidays.
They are not what they used to be. Our family has undergone a lot of changes over the years due to some very unfortunate events, and the holidays are nothing of what they used to be, but aside from all of that, this time of year makes my heart happy.
When I was living in Hawaii there were a lot of years I was not able to go home for Thanksgiving. Thankfully, now that I'm living in California, the hour and 45 min flight (that costs much less than a 6 hour $500+ flight from Hawaii) has allowed me to go home for Thanksgiving and Christmas (Thank you Southwest for your incredible deals!!!).
I go home in 12 days for Thanksgiving! Which is wonderful and stressful at the same time. It means I have 12 days until Fall quarter is over which means I have 5 days until I have a 30+ page paper, a 15+ page paper AND a 30 min oral presentation due. I cannot wait for November 17th, it means I will have all of that stuff behind me and just one more final to worry about the following week, and I can handle that.
All these papers/presentation, however, are stressing me out!! I have devoted this weekend to completing these, along with my usual homework. I am not allowing myself to do anything of enjoyment this weekend because I absolutely have got to be productive and get all of that accomplished.
I finally pushed through my latest slump on 'lacking-all-motivation-for-anything-school-related" last weekend and was able to get at least a rough start to most of what is due next week. (Thank goodness!) but I still have a long, long way to go.
I was actually at a dinner party last night with a group of 1st years (those who started the program this year) and I found myself saying "Oh no, 2nd year is much, much better, I'm way less stressed than I was 1st year." and then following that up with comments about the 30+ page and 15+ page paper I have looming and they looked puzzled and said "And you think 2nd year is easier?!?"
 It's possible I've just learned to dissociate from the stress now, and don't even realize how overwhelmed I'm actually feeling.

Some how a post about the holidays, inevitably ended up being a post about school and stress. Story of my life. :)

Christmas. The countdown has begun.

I just posted about Halloween didn't I? Well then I don't feel bad posting about my most favorite holiday ever!
In case anyone was wondering, 78 days until Christmas! :)
Countdown to Christmas Clock!