How TV has ruled (see: shaped) my life

Growing up, television was a big part of my childhood. That is not to say I spent my youth plopped down in front on the TV, but rather, my mother worked for the local cable company in our town. That had its perks including access to all the channels (at the time that meant about 40), ability to watch new releases my mom would bring home on VHS that weren't even out at the video store yet, and an in with local broadcasting children shows where my siblings and I were guests. Ok, so really that just meant we sat there while some lady read to us, and they played it on the air, but at the time I felt pretty famous. I was even on the local news once for accompanying my mom on “Take your Daughter to Work Day” (and yes, it was that long ago, before it was changed to “Take your Child to Work Day”).

 I viewed my mom as someone with a very important job, after all she was a successful working woman at the only cable company in town. Not to mention, their company had the best company picnics every summer. Pie eating contests and all! Unfortunately, long gone are the days of premium channels, cable, and company picnics for our family. That company eventually got bought out by a big name, then a bigger name, more and more companies began to pop up and my mom eventually left the cable business. 

As I approach my 30's, on a grad student budget, "TV" just is not in the budget. Internet, however, is essential to a student, therefore, I have managed to fit that into my monthly bills. The upside here? Thankfully, sites like Netflix and Amazon Instant Video (with my Amazon Prime-student membership) I can still have a connection with my favorite shows growing up, Christmas classics around the holidays, and countless other movies without having cable. Now, what that does for my productivity, however, is another story. Having such access to the entire series of The Wonder Years, Saved by the Bell, How I Met Your Mother, and Mad Men make it all too easy to waste away a Sunday on the couch instead of working on my dissertation. I can't blame technology for that, though. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to procrastination. It just makes my poor choices much more entertaining ;)

Week 43: Oct 21st-27th=near death by sickness

It finally happened. Working at a residential with children and their mothers, my high stress level, etc caught up to me and I got ridiculously sick. I mean, full on, totally and completely couch ridden sick with a severe head cold. Rendered me useless for DAYS! Perfect timing since internship applications are due this upcoming Friday. No pressure. 
Oh and, I'm posting late....AGAIN. I think the entire month of October I may have been late. I'm slipping, in more ways than one.

My 5 things:

1. Worked a lot of my internship application stuff (even with my 3 day hiatus due to being ill beyond reason)

2. Talked with my supervisor about "self-care" as it, taking care of yourself (eating/sleeping right, exercising, fun things to counteract all the stress). I'm not doing any of it, and it is weighing on me, but at least I'm talking about it.

3. I started playing the incredibly silly game Candy Crush Saga. My mom is all into it and when she was hear she had me play a level she was stuck on and, well, it got me. It's something pointless to take my mind off the stress for a few minutes, so I'll accept that.

4. When the sickness hit, I actually took care of myself (ok, by that I mean I let J take care of me) but I actually slept, got meds, vitamins, fluids, lots of rest. Took 3 whole days off (ok, actually probably 2 and a half....but that is still good!). I'm not actually better, but I'm functioning more than I was.

5. Started the Breaking Bad series with J. INTENSE! Fun to have a series we watch together though.

Week 38: Sept 17th-22nd: Saying goodbye to my dear old companion

I have to defend my dissertation proposal this Friday. I'm fighting off an illness as we speak and I'm totally not prepared for my proposal defense. This upcoming week is going to be hell.

As for last week...

My 5 things:

1. Took the original Riley in my life, the Jetta to the junk yard of Friday. Now, this was actually really difficult for me.

The Jetta and me before parting ways 9/20/13

  I cried. Even though the Jetta's been parked in the garage, not being used for over a month now and even before that I was not the one driving it, saying the final good bye was hard. I owned that car for 11 years... 11 YEARS! It had 67,000+ miles on it when I got it, and it ended with 194,000+ miles. I was really hoping to take it to 200,000 just like Marshall had hoped:

From the episode Arrivederci, Fiero: How I Met Your Mother

2. I baked my very 1st apple pie. I cannot believe how SIMPLE it is to make fruit pies. One of the easiest desserts ever. Granted, it wouldn't be so if I was not using a premade crust. Someday, I will make my own crust but for now, the ready-to-bake crusts will work for me.

3. I took a nap yesterday. I'm fighting off sickness and have waaaaay too much coming up soon that I need to be present, alert, oriented and WELL for.

4. We have some house guests staying with us so J has been acting as a tour guide and showing them the sites of San Francisco. It is fun to tag along, since the only time I ever seem to go over there is when I'm with people who are visiting.

5. Spent a whole day doing laundry, going grocery shopping, cleaning house, preparing dinner. Taking care of the home. It's a bitch to do some times, but it really is worth it.

Week 24: June 10th-16th Trying new things

1. I went running twice! Right, so running twice is no big accomplishment, except that I didn't run at all last week, and I may have not run the week before that either. I tend to get too motivated, and end up pushing it which irritates my IT band and then I'm left not being able to run. I really need to learn that running twice a week, each week is better than being able to go 3 times in a week but then 0 times the next week. I'm too impatient for this injury, but I'm working on that.

2. I tried my hand at pulled pork for the first time yesterday. I'd never handled 5lbs of pork butt before ;) I made it in the slow cooker, did a rub with spices before hand and then added my own mix after because I wanted it to have more flavor. I must say, I think it turned out pretty well and I'm damn proud. There's always new recipes to try and I love that no matter how good of a cook you are, you can always try new things.

3. I started writing in the My Listography book my sister got me for my birthday this year. It was one the many thoughtful "golden birthday" themed gifts that arrived in the mail. She is all about the presentation of everything (that is her artistic self shining through):

It is an entire book of Lists on every page. There are lists for favorites, wishes, memories, etc. I decided that my goal is to fill it out before my 30th birthday as a way to chronicle my thoughts throughout my last year in my 20's. Some of the lists are pretty concrete and won't likely change, but some of them are more fleeting so it will be interesting to look back on. I have always been a writer, a list maker, a memory hoarder. Since I was young I have written down all sorts of useless information about conversations, dreams, thoughts, any and everything I worried I might forget later. I have boxes of diaries and journals from growing up and as I grow older I realize how much you naturally just forget over time. I guess I was onto something as a child. In the past decade or so I've written a lot less, forgotten a lot more. Even this blog is somewhat of a memory hoarding device designed for me to remember a little bit more that I would on my own. My sistermay not be as much of a writer as me, but is just about as compulsive as I am when it comes to list-making so this book was pretty fitting coming from her.

4. I was told about the show, The L Word and that I needed to watch it. It was actually recommended to J and I but after a quick preview he decided it wasn't for him (which, I'm not sure how that is possible.. there is boobs galore in it!) but either way, we didn't end up starting the series. Now that the quarter is over and I've turned in my 1st draft of my dissertation proposal I've got a few moments to breath and actually relax (well, really it is a false sense since I should still be working on posters for conferences, integrated reports for patients, there is always a laundry list...oh and laundry too!) but either way, I started the series yesterday on my own. Looking forward to losing myself in some new characters.

5. Yesterday, while the pulled pork was in the slow cooker and before I settled in with the L Word for the evening, I spent the day giving the house a much needed cleaning. Cleaning is actually on this list? That probably means I need to get a better social life. The feeling of having a clean, organized house though is pretty damn amazing. That is probably the reason it made the list this time. Having organization and cleanliness, especially after finals week when everything seems to always get "put on hold" and piles of clothes appear, is such a great feeling.

Week 20: May 14th-19th 2013. The waiting is over.

My 5 things:

1. Went running. Only once, it was a post-Vegas run over the weekend and it was necessary. My running was on a role there. I do believe that was positively correlated with my stress level leading up to Orals. Then Vegas happened. So, it is just a matter of getting back to 3 times a week. I'm happy with 3 times a week.
   
   
2. I actually let myself take a nap. That is rare in recent years, and I usually try to fight the urge but I was just exhausted and I allowed myself to sleep, despite not having been as productive as I'd wanted to. Turns out I was able to wake up from the nap and give my kitchen a much needed cleaning, as well as the floors in the house. So it was definitely worth it. 
   
   
3. I made the decision to stay here. J had a business trip up north Thursday-Sunday. I wanted to go, to be able to see family, to accompany him on the road but I knew I had so much work piling up and that I really couldn't afford to take more time off with all these deadlines looming. Instead, I stayed here and holed myself up at home. Aside from going to work on Friday, I didn't leave the house. I was able to get wquite a bit of school work/dissertation and research stuff done.
   
   
4. Watched tons of silly movies/TV that I would never subject J to out of respect for his manhood. I'm talking dramas, romantic comedy, and amultiple episodes of an ABC family TV show. Bad stuff (but oh-so-good in that horrible way)
   
   
5. In my Women's Group that I co-lead I utilized a new technique I've never done before, that is out of my usual realm of practices. I did a spin off of Gestalt's "empty chair" technique. It actually ended up being pretty effective, although not all patients participated to the fullest..which is expected in a group. Either way, I was proud of myself for reaching outside of my usual bag of tricks for last week's group.

After a weekend of consistently checking and rechecking my email for a message from my latest interview and watching as my phone didn't ring, Monday arrived and I was beginning to lose hope. "By the end of the week" she said. The interview took place on Thursday, so I assumed that meant Friday. When Friday came and went with nothing I assumed that perhaps meant some time over the weekend, surely by Sunday (that is, in fact, the end of the week). Sunday then came and went and Monday had arrived with not even a peep. Thankfully J came come after a weekend up north late Sunday evening so my attention was focused mostly on him. Monday morning I got up much earlier than him, had my coffee and read some research articles for my Forensics class. After a hearty breakfast of banana-oatmeal pancakes and strawberries and a silent phone, I spent the rest the morning catching up with J and hearing about his trip before he had to head to work. I checked my phone and out of no where, I had somehow missed a call and had a voicemail waiting. It was her, calling to offer me a practicum placement. FINALLY! After over a month of my hopes being hurled around on an emotional roller coaster of rejection I have a place that actually thinks I'm good enough. What a relief.

It's not what I want to be doing, it still working in substance abuse...so it's actually really a killer to my future career hopes of being in Forensics field...or really any field outside of substance use. It's a residential setting for women and children (the women are in recovery). So, it's going to be an estrogen party for me on a daily basis. Oy! That's going to take some getting used to, especially since currently most my clients are male, my supervisor is male, and my clinic director is male. Soon I'll be surrounded by vaginas galore with little testosterone in sight. Should be... interesting.
 Choosing this site has closed a LOT of doors I am really not ready to close. It's actually going beyond closing them, it is flat out nailing the door shut with an extra large padlock and chains. That is going to take some mourning. I mean I can fight and fight until I'm blue in the face, but in the end I needed to make a decision: to hold onto an idea that had me drowning by myself in this ocean that was my dream , or to latch onto a lifeboat that would sail me away from that ocean and onto land where, although the safety is comforting, it won't ever make me feel the way that ocean did.

I suppose that's a common theme in life. Keep drowning for the possibility of something likely unattainable or get to safety and miss out on whatever it was I was risking my life for. The trouble is...knowing when to grab on or when to keep struggling.

Mad Men

Once again, I'm a few years late to the game. I recently discovered the show, Mad Men.
It first aired in 2007, so it's only natural I suppose that I am just now watching it, in 2011. Only 4 years late.
I am rather enthralled with the early 60's in general. The culture, the clothing, the beliefs, everything is just fascinating to me.
 This show is about the Men but a big part of it focuses on the women as well and on their role in society and in the home. I often feel the pull of being both the 'perfect wife/mother/woman' (I'm not yet a wife or mother, but trust me...the pressure is already there) and being my own person (which includes but is not limited to those things).
I'm not looking to be transported or anything, I'm far too independent and stubborn for that. I wouldn't do well in that time, I'm too outspoken for my own good sometimes.I am drawn to it though.
This show does an excellent job romanticizing an era. I'm hooked.

New Girl is a new fave!

Update: So my sickness won, and I wasn't able to run my race. SO BUMMED!!!!!!!!!
I'm still so disappointed, and still getting over my sickness, therefore I haven't run for a week now.
I'm feeling guilty about it. That's the evil thing about running, it HAUNTS you, until you do it again, if nothing else just to rid yourself of the guilt. Hopefully I'll try that again, maybe Friday morning, we'll see how that goes.

So last night aired a new show, New Girl on Fox. I was beyond pumped about this because my absolute favorite actress is the star: Zooey Deschanel!

They played most of the funny parts in the previews, so there was no real shocker/surprise/hilarity in the actual show that was not spoiled by all the previews. Now, I do not blame my girl Zooey for that. She was just as adorable and amusing as always and in that aspect, I loved every stinkin' minute of the show. I am hoping once the hype dies down they're stop showing (basically the entire show) in the previews so I can enjoy the whole show, in its entirety and all its humor.
I am so excited to have an opportunity to watch my fave lady every week!! :)