New Years Resolution... only 4 days later

It is 2014. That is... crazy. I mean, it is not actually insane, time moves along just as it always has; although, it seems to be moving more quicker as you age... I'm sure there's some science behind that, right? ;)

2013 was BIG year for me:

• I passed my competency exams
• I obtained my M.S. degree
• I traveled to Yosemite, Vegas, Reno, Disneyland, Hawaii and some other places here and there
• I presented at APA 
• My best friend got engaged and married and I was able to be a part of both
• J and I became "parents" of sorts when we got a puppy
• Completed my training at the methadone clinic
• Began my training at a residential facility for women in recovery with children 
• I let go of the Jetta after 11 years
• I successfully defended my dissertation proposal
• I applied to internships

I am sure there are things I'm forgetting, but those are the highlights for the year. So much accomplished in 1 year, I can't help but take a moment to be a little bit proud of how far I've come. So many things this year that in 2010 I began to  work toward, dread, worry, lose sleep over, and/or hope for and in 2013 they became a reality. Despite the evidence, I still feel like an imposter that will soon be "found out" that I really don't have what it takes to be in a Ph.D. program, they some how made a mistake in admissions and soon they're realize the error. I wonder how many degrees on the wall or letters after my name it'll take for that to disappear?

Hmm... I'm getting sidetracked (and negative). I am supposed to be discussing New Years and my resolutions.

My resolution last year:
My new year's resolution for 2013 is to do 5 things to benefit myself each week and document these 5 things.

I accomplished my resolution for 2013 and I have 52 posts to prove it. I must say, it was a difficult task to take on. It required constant commitment and follow up. I had to hold myself accountable 365 days. Well, isn't that the point of a resolution? It shouldn't just be something you come up with on January 1st only to forget it a month later, or revisit come July. It should be something you are constantly working toward. Otherwise, how will you ever progress? evolve?

This year, I decided that since I have always been painfully afraid of change and stuck in my ways, that I would challenge myself to do things differently.

My new year's resolution for 2014 is to try at least 1 new thing every week. 

This can be anything from trying a new recipe, or a new shade of lipstick, to trying out a new restaurant, exercise, craft, hobby, or a new approach to tackling tasks; anything that I have not tried before. Not every one of them has to be something monumental, but I have to learn to let go of "my way" of doing everything, because that may not be the best way and it certainly is not the only way.

To my fear of change, I challenge you to a year of 52 different ways of living. 



 

Week 27: July 1st-7th DISNEY & SURPRISES!

So my 5 things post is going to look a little different this week, because of the rare events that took place:
This last week was a pretty eventful one. Monday-Wednesday involved going into work and being responsible. Wednesday evening, however, involved a road trip with J down to Anaheim to surprise my family who were were on vacation down there. We managed to get some pretty great reactions from my brother-in-law, my mom, my niece and my nephews. It was a tight squeeze fitting 9 people into a hotel room that sleeps 5...but we managed to do it. The sacrifices we're willing to take to save some funds.

I hadn't been to Disneyland in probably about 20 years (making comments like that makes me feel really old) and J had never been so this was his first time. It was pretty exciting getting to experience it as an adult and still being just as mesmerized by it and getting to see J's reactions to things. He had also never been on a roller coaster, or ridden in a limo so we hit all kinds of firsts for him this week. My family can be pretty overwhelming, but after almost 2 and a half years J handles the chaos pretty well.

 It was also my niece's first time there and getting to watch a 5 year old experience Disney for the first time was pretty wonderful.

The first day we were there was the 4th of July. Not only did we get to experience Disney on a beautiful summer day, but we got to take a break from the rides to enjoy the fireworks, and then hit the rides again after the show was over. We never left the part before midnight. 

 All in all, this was one incredibly unforgettable trip. Any chance I get to see my family, and I'll take it but this was especially memorable because it was a trip to Disneyland. I am so grateful we were able to make that happen because it is not something that will happen very often and with how quickly these kiddos grow up, it's rare to be able to experience such a special moment in time with them.

Week 18: April 29th-May 5th: Worrying myself sick, literally

So typical. The minute I stop worrying about practicum interviews, I get offered two, BOTH while I'll be out of town. Ain't that a bitch?
One of the offers is from my number 1, top choice site from the initial round that didn't even offer me an interview before. It's working my my favor that it's late in the game so a lot of students have already accepted offers at other sites so there is a smaller, less competitive pool for them to choose from. Honestly, I'm fine with that because the thing is, I don't have any experience working with that population, so there is less of a reason to give me a chance. What I do have is motivation and charisma and when the pickins get slimmer, that is more likely to matter. The unfortunate thing, is that they're doing a group interview on the 13th (that they've invited me to) and when I spoke with the director on the phone, she said that if they don't find their placement on Monday that they may be able to meet me on Tuesday. Bummer. but there is also a site that wants to meet with me and is a little more flexible with time so I suppose if this one doesn't work out, the other one may.
But really, my main focus at this point is my Oral exam tomorrow. I go at 9am. There is a lot riding on this exam. It determines whether or not I get awarded my M.S., whether or not I can defend my proposal, and whether or not I will even be eligible to apply for internship. I know, I know, I can always retake it in a few months and there are other factors that may also prevent me from applying on time even if I did pass, but this exam is 3 years in the making. I've been dreading this exam since Fall 2010 when I entered into this program and I just want it to be over with already and not be drug out for another couple of months while I try to prepare all over again.
To top it all off: I'm getting sick. My body is so angry with me with all this stress and it just wants to give up. I worry that I'm going to spend my entire Vegas vacation sick. I'm trying my best to keep hydrated, to get as much sleep as my body will allow and loading up on EmergenC but despite all my best efforts, it's still creeping up on me. :/

Anyway, amidst all of that, here are my 5 things:

1. I went in an extra day to practicum to get more hours. Even though, with how chaotic things are right now with Orals and research deadlines, that was perhaps not the best decision, but it was only a half day anyway.

2. I went running three times. I finally feel like a runner again (well, I never really felt like a real one, I've always felt like a wanna-be) but I at least feel like a wanna-be runner again, and not just a total fake or failure.

3. I baked cookies yesterday and they were a big hit at the BBQ we went to.

4. I did another study session via Skype with a friend on Saturday. We went over materials for Orals from about 10am until 3pm with only a short break due to computer malfunctions. I'm really trying to get this Oral exam right the first time so as not to have to delay everything and take it again. Hopefully all this studying will pay off.

5. Yesterday was Cinco De Mayo and we went to a friend's house for a BBQ. It is a friend here, whose family has really been great and welcoming to me and J since we don't have family here so it's nice to be able to see them and spend some time with them. Plus there was some excellent food to enjoy :)

Week 10: March 5th-10th.... sickness took over

So turns out that possible allergies/sickness was full blown sickness. That's the hardest I've been hit by a sickness in years. I was out half of Tuesday, all of Wednesday and Thursday, managed to gather enough strength to power through Friday and was on the couch again Saturday. Finally, I am starting to feel a bit better. Normally I'll miss 1 class here or there when I'm feeling sick, but I don't think I've ever canceled entire days multiple times in a row. It was bad.

Despite that major set back (to which I am attributing my late entry) I was still able to find the time to do my 5 beneficial things for myself, they are as follows:

1. Actually stayed home sick from everything, whereas normally I'd try to power on through. I actually did try on Tuesday, but traffic stopped me (literally!) and I decided it was much smarter for me to turn around and head home and cancel my meeting and tell my professor I wouldn't be making it in. I made sure to really focus on rest and fluids, despite my frustration with lack of productivity.

2. I did yoga for the first time in a long while. I realized that a) I'm really not as flexible as I once was and b) how much I actually enjoy yoga (I had forgotten!)

3. On Saturday, when I was feeling a bit better, I decided to park about a half a mile from the shopping center where I was going to do my errands (grocery store, pick up prescription, go by the bank and the post office) All these buildings are near each other in a shopping center to which I normally park in the parking lot and walk around. It was such a beautiful day and I'd been feeling so useless from my days on the couch I made sure to park far enough away that I'd get about a mile and a half walk in while accomplishing my errands. Multitasking!

4. I actually wrote on here, not just for my weekly 5 beneficial things list posting. I find it so helpful to write out (or type out, rather) my thoughts and yet I make such little time lately to do this.

5. I went to my school's library...on a Sunday. Despite wanting to lay around all day and being painfully lazy, I made the 45mile drive to my school's library (that's dedication, eh!?) and holed up in there for a few hours scoring and assessment for a client and working on some other assignments. Did I mention it was beautiful and sunny out too? Making it that much more difficult to sit inside a library all day. BUT I was able to get a lot of necessary work accomplished.

Week 9: Feb 25th-March 4th...Home :D

Took a trip home for the weekend. It was a short trip: flew in on Saturday, left on Monday but I managed to accomplish what I set out to do, which was to revamp my emotional-psychological well being.
I did miss out on writing yesterday, because I didn't have computer access until I got home last night and I spent my few waking hours after arriving back with J, which is time much better spent since I knew I could just write here today.
Because of all of this, this posting will be a little different than past weeks. I figure since I managed to do so much over the short visit home, my 5 things this week would pretty much focus on that visit.
Here it goes:

1. Got to spend quality time with my niece and one of my nephews and  I got to see my goddaughters and actually spend time with them. We played with sidewalk chalk and I got to watch them ride their bikes. These types of things are more likely to imprint in their memories and I love getting to hear how their little minds operate.

2. I got to meet the newest addition to our extended family. My cousin Kass gave birth to an adorable little guy named Jace and thankfully, I just happened to be home to meet him. Perfect timing! He was 8lbs 14oz and 20in. I also got to see his big sister for a short moment...she's getting so big it's unbelievable.

3. I got to see both my parents, although not nearly for as long as I would have liked. Time with my parents is really, truly important to me. This is especially important for me because I have older parents than a lot of people my age, which means I'll likely have less years with them. Being away makes this realization all the much more difficult.

4. I got to spend time with my ultimate best friend-wife-soul mate. I absolutely love her and always feel rejuvenated after time with her. 

5. Coming home to J after being away. I always enjoy his company, and even though I wasn't away for that long,  that feeling after having been apart and being able to see him again just makes those everyday moments feel extra special.

Now I'm being viciously attacked by my allergies and its rendering me useless. I just canceled the rest of my day and am headed to the couch.

Week 8: Feb 18th-24th: Yosemite!

Still no word back on any of my practicum applications. I turned them in over a week early, they weren't actually due until the 22nd...so really today is the first "business day" after the due date. Should be hopefully getting some interviews within the next few weeks. I'm just being impatient, weird right? ')

My 5 things:

1. I had J do an interval training cardio workout with me. He'd playfully mocked me before about doing youtube video workouts, which I admit seem a bit silly. I wanted him to join in with me so that a) we'd keep up on our exercise throughout the week and b) because I really need more cardio in my workout if I'm actually going to see results (and what I mean by that is: J is already showing improvements and I am not...which is frustrating). Also, I felt a little better when J remarked about how difficult the video was (since I have had trouble completing it in the past).

2. This past week I put it some extra hours in the library and at home to finish up work for a class in order to avoid having to attend the weekly TA sessions that require me to leave class early and often arrive to research group late on Wednesdays. Not to mention the time sitting in traffic, the extra miles and gas on my car. I managed to get all my work turned in and now I no longer have to worry about it, which is such a relief!

3. I only meet with my research group every other week because I have class at that time the other weeks so I am only getting feedback every few weeks on my dissertation which, as evidenced by previous meetings, can blow up in my pretty little face. I decided this last week, since I wasn't meeting with my group & adviser, that i should email him with some of my questions and concerns. This benefits me in a number of ways. First off, that way I'm not wasting another week going in the wrong direction (if my direction is not right), it also shows my adviser that I'm putting in extra time and effort (not just throwing together an update once every 2 weeks), and it allows me to get feedback about what I am doing (which he's usually much nicer via email anyway!).

4. I put in some extra time during the week on class assignments/dissertation research because there was talk of a possible outing with J over the weekend and I wanted to make sure I didn't fall behind in assignments. Also, I know that This upcoming weekend I'll be taking a quick trip home, so I will have less time then as well.

5. J and I took a spontaneous trip to Yosemite National Park over the weekend. Our 2 year anniversary is this upcoming Tuesday (2/26), a day where I am up at 4am and don't return home until 9pm and J will be at the woodshop for most the day. So we decided a weekend getaway was in order to celebrate. We left Saturday morning, stayed the night, and then headed back Sunday afternoon.

J on the edge...I didn't get that close

 

It was absolutely beautiful there. Neither of us had been and it was about a 200 mile drive from where we live. We booked a hotel the night before and packed up and left Saturday morning. Unfortunately, the hotel chosen was a bust.... but all the amazing views, wildlife, and nature made up for that.

Yosemite Falls

A lot of the hiking trails were actually closed, which was kind of a bummer. We didn't realize how cold it was and how much snow would be there. Lesson learned on that one (we didn't do much research, obviously). It was still beautiful, regardless of the limited access. You couldn't do all that you wanted to in that short of a trip anyway. Since we'd never been, it was all new scenery to us and at least now we're more familiar with the layout of everything and can do research on different hikes we saw to decide what we should conquer on our next visit. We purchased the year pass, so we will have to go back anyway :)

Week 6: Feb. 4th-10th.. Mid Quarter crisis

MIDTERMS!!! Oy! I'm about ready to crumble into pieces. Just completed week 5 of the quarter, which means we're half way through and midterms are due this week. Oh and so are practicum applications, and my dissertation update, and we have house guests, and I'm fighting off sickness.
Of course it couldn't be spread out or anything, right? Because that's not how life works.
I feel like I'm losing my marbles a bit, which I suppose I can't remember the last time I actually felt like I had my marbles, or had a handle on anything at all.
It's been a tough week to come up with 5 things that I was able to do that were enjoyable or beneficial, but really this is the time I need them the most.

My 5 things:

1. In the midst of running errands to the post office and the bank, J and I stumbled upon a gathering of food carts over in Alameda. We decided to partake in the excitement and check it out. There was live music, sunshine, and delicious food and even splurged to try their ginger lemonade, and may I just say: YUM!!. I thought it was a good idea to take a seat and enjoy as apposed to getting the food and taking it or eating it in the car. It was awesome to be outside, enjoying good food, good company, and a good atmosphere. We've become such homebodys, it was nice to be out and about for a moment.

2. We've had house guests which is fun and stressful all at the same time. We went on Friday over to SF and then came back this way in the evening. It was one of our guest's birthday so we went out in Alameda for drinks to celebrate. Again, just being out and doing something out of the ordinary for me is a nice change of pace.

3. I made little Valentine's Day treat bags for my goddaughters and niece and nephew. I know how much I love getting things in the mail, and it's been a tradition really since I moved away to send little goodies. I mailed those out this weekend to ensure their arrival by Valentine's Day. I miss those little ones so much, and it pains me to know I'm missing out on some of the most precious times with them during these years. I know sending them little presents and candy doesn't make up for that, but hopefully it shows them that I'm thinking of them and that they are loved.

4.  So due to some misfortune, my canceled flight back funds that I thought I'd be using for Vegas, expire March 9th. I decided, after much debate, that I would take a trip home the first weekend of March. It will be a short trip, only Saturday-Monday but I think some quality time with my family will do me quite well. I booked that trip last Friday and instantly my mood elevated, just with the thought of getting to see my family, and knowing I'm not losing out on $100 helps too ;)

5. I listened to NPR for the first time in my life (willingly anyway). I put it on during my long commute and took a listen. This is a huge thing for me, as I used to despise talk radio. I'm still getting used to it, and obviously there are times when the content just isn't doing it for me, but it is a nice change from music, and it also allows me to get a little glimpse into what is going on in the world, and in elements of life other than just graduate school. I liked it, I think I'll do it more often.

Week 2: Jan 7th-13th and the waiting, the annoying waiting

I am beginning to love Mondays.
Who would have thought? The most despised day of the week by most would evolve into one of my favorites.
The thing is, I have a grueling schedule throughout the week. It is just go-go-go from 4am to some times as late as 9pm. It's filled with traffic, commuting, lectures, presentations, due dates, clients, more commuting, reading, supervision, deadlines, time frames, did I mention commuting? So it's easy Tue-Fri to feel like I am so far behind on absolutely everything and find it difficult to really clear my head and combat my responsibilities with a calm mind. The weekend allows for some of that, but even then I'm with my boyfriend much of the time and I would way rather spend time with him doing enjoyable things that studying/reading/school work/prepping for clients.
So here is where Monday comes in. While the rest of the world is going to work, I am home for the day. I plan out ahead of time what all needs to be accomplished on this day:

• work out
• Various school/dissertation responsibilities
• Cooking for tonight and prepping/cooking for tomorrow when I don't get home until 9pm
• Time for writing
• A shower at some point and other various things

We've worked it out that J and I work out together Mon and Wed in the morning. We each have our own little routine we came up with ourselves (some variation of push-up/dips/sit-ups,etc). Then he goes to work, leaving me the house to myself. I fluctuate between school work, meal prepping, and breaks so as to never get burnt out doing either for too long. Mondays, unlike most days, I feel like I can actually breathe. I feel like I actually have some control over the whens, wheres, and whys of what I'm doing.

Now onto my list of 5 things:

1. Baked cookies....and brownies. I got to bake twice throughout this week. It helps that J is in love with my baking and is always game for me to bake anything so it's really killing 2 birds with 1 spoon ;)

2. Worked out the first time in a long while. As I said, J and I have started working out in the AM on some days doing our customized to fit us routines.
Mine:
5 push-ups
10 sit-ups
5 squats
5 dips
10 calf-raisers
10 lunges
20 crunches
(Repeat: total 3 times)
Then eventually, each week I will add 2 reps to each exercise.

It's amazing because even when I first came up with it I thought "meh... this is probably too easy for me and won't give me much of a work out" but then you have to remember that these numbers are actually x3 because you go through the routine 3 times. Plus, after the first day of doing it last week I couldn't walk right for days my legs were so sore! So, I'd say I gave myself a pretty good challenging start. I also made the mistake of not stretching before or after... so I learned my lesson there!

3. Used my crock-pot for the first time ever! I got this crock-pot probably back in about '05. I never used it, then I moved back in with my mom shortly before moving away to Hawaii which resulted in the thing being stashed away at my moms (who lord knows did not touch the thing) until this past Christmas break when we unexpectedly were driving back and I said "Oooh I have room to bring my crock-pot!" and was determined to make use of it, finally. Thank goodness it actually still worked, and it worked well. The meal was a success and I currently have tomorrow's dinner of creamy chicken chili cooking in there as I type. Yes.. I'm so on top of everything that I'm cooking tomorrow's dinner at 3 in the afternoon the day before. (except that whole "being on top of everything" will be completed destroyed as my 4am alarm goes off tomorrow morning, so just let me have it for now!)

4. Last night we went to see Craig Carothers play in Berkeley. This is a January tour he's done, apparently for about 10 years now with Don Henry and Steve Seskin. I surprised J with the show last year when he was playing in Santa Clara the weekend of J's birthday that he happened to be visiting me down in CA from Portland. It was perfect. Needless to say, when we found out he was playing less than 10 miles away in Berkeley, we knew we were going. It was, as always, a wonderful experience. We really need to make more time for events such as this, because it really is enjoyable for both of us.

5. This past week I booked our hotel for a trip to Vegas we're planning with my best friend and her boyfriend. Granted, the trip itself is not until May but planning for a vacation is quite enjoyable. Especially when you're able to get such a good deal, with the help of my dad and his timeshare he has there, we were able to get a great deal for our stay. May is both mine and my best friend's birthday month. This year (2013) Also marks 20 years of friendship with her. 20 years!! Other than those I'm related to, I have not had such a close, consistent relationship with anyone else in my life. So there are lots of reasons to celebrate and Vegas is just a wonderful place to do it! Not to mention, J has never been! So that will be exciting as well.

This past week has also been pretty frustrating for me. APA is the annual conference for psychology, it's a pretty big deal and it's especially important for me because it's in Hawaii this year. I haven't been back since I moved back to the mainland in '10. I've made it a mission of mine to submit/get accepted to APA '13 since I started grad school. Submission deadline for APA conference was Nov 15th. THe conference is not until August, so I assumed we'd be hearing back around March or so. All the sudden starting on Thursday, my Facebook wall is filled with a number of different people from my program posting "I got accepted to APA!" and "APA here I come" and other various celebratory comments about how excited they were about getting accepted. I started checking my email frantically, about 37 times a day, waiting to hear back. and nothing. Not a word.
I know I will hear back either way, whether I've been accepted or rejected, so the lack of hearing anything is not a bad sign necessarily. It is, however, excruciatingly annoying and frustrating.
Despite the progress I've made with having patience and not focusing on what I cannot control.. I still, really, really hate waiting...especially while everyone else seems to be rejoicing.
So I continue to play the waiting game.

Week 1: Jan 1st-6th

I must admit, trying to do 5 things per week to benefit myself proved to be rather difficult.
Much harder than I originally anticipated. I'm sure it will become easier to do and pick out beneficial things as time progresses, but this week's items are not anything to write home about. I guess another lesson this will teach me is what types of things are actually beneficial for me and which feel more like a chore...or better yet: those that may feel like a chore, but are actually quite beneficial. Needless to say, I think this will be a great challenge for myself.
After I wrote about my New Year's Resolution and discussed it with my boyfriend, he decided he wanted to document progress for his resolutions as well so it's nice to know we're sort of doing this together, albeit in much different ways.

Week 1:

1. Actually took a "sick day"...by that I mean I didn't feel well, like a sickness had come over me and instead of ignoring my body's signals, I stayed home, slept a lot, laid on the couch and watched movies with lots of fluids. This resulted in waking up Sunday feeling better (Not totally cured,  but much better).

2. Finished a year long project off my Pinterest that I began Jan 1st, 2012.  The project was a diary/calender/log of daily doings.

This project is ongoing, but I will admit the first year was the most difficult because each card had to be made and written out with the date, and then the entry for 2012 needed to be entered. Also the acquisition of all the postcard dividers needed to happen. I actually ordered some vintage ones off ebay that actually have messages from the 50's and 60's from various parts of the U.S. which I thought added my own personal addition to the project. Although, the last postcard is actually a blank one of Oakland I purchased a few months back in my city.

So this week, I finally got around to finishing up the last few days in December that I'd fallen behind on because of all the holiday/family/buying a car/driving back happenings that caused me to be just too busy to finish in December. Now I'm up-to-date with these and it is already proving worthwhile and interesting to look at the current day and see what I was doing on that day, the previous year.

3. Went to First Fridays in Oakland. It's an art/community event, many cities parttake in their own versions of this but I realized we've been living in Oakland now for a little over 5 months and yet we've never gone to our own city's First Friday event, or any events in our city really. There are so many events and opportunities within minutes of our front door and yet we've experienced so very little of them.

4. During my hour commute home from work on Friday, I plugged in my old I-pod and rocked out to a variety of guilty pleasure tunes I have on there that I completely forgot existed. I love singing in my car, loudly and ALONE so as not to be judged on my lack of talent.

5. I wrote my cousin Kass a letter, snail-mail style. She does not partake in any social-networking, is not a fan of phone calls, and only so much can be said via text. I proposed the idea a few months back that she and I write good old fashion letters and she wrote me in November and I've yet to get around to writing her so I sat down yesterday and wrote out as much as my hand could bare (which proved to be fairly little since I haven't handwritten a letter in awhile). She and I were so close growing up, we did practically everything together. Throughout our late teen years and early 20's various things tore us apart, then brought us back together. We're in such different places in our lives now: I'm out here in a big city in CA going to graduate school with as much freedom as that allows and she is back in a small town in WA, married with a baby on the way, a toddler running around her house and a religion I can't agree with that has resulted in the biggest separation of the two of us. I love her with all my heart, and I love her children as though they are a part of me so the connection with her, however the universe allows is incredibly important to me.

All in all, this week has shown me that beneficial things for me come in all sorts of ways and I need to take the time throughout my week to not only actively engage in things that will benefit my mind/body/soul/heart... but also to take the time to notice those things I may already be doing and how these things benefit my mood and well being. I think part of it is that we so often are already taking part in beneficial activities, but aren't taking the time to acknowledge to positive impact these things can have on us if we let them.
 Week 1 complete, now on to Week 2. This should be interesting as this is the first week of a new quarter in school, my busiest and possibly most difficult yet!!

2013 New Years Resolution (and the new addition of Lucille!)

2013 has arrived, whether we are ready for it or not, it is here!
Today was my 1st day back at work (and by work, I of course mean my practicum at the methadone clinic) after a 10 day vacation that ended in getting about 2 hours of sleep after ringing in the new year and waking up at 4am to make the 11 hour drive back down to the Bay Area.
Why were we driving you ask and not flying back as originally planned...
Because I got a new car! Well, not new by any means..it is a 1995 just like the good ol' Jetta but, unlike the Jetta, this vehicle is actually in good, solid, working condition!

"Lucille" American's favorite redhead <3

This here is Lucille, named after, of course, America's favorite redhead and my personal idol for as long as I can remember: Lucille Ball. I figured it was only fitting, J and I were discussing names and he suggested just "Red" or "Big Red" and I thought no, this here is an older, classy broad... and her name should suggest just that and then it hit me! Lucille <3.
J and I had been discussing getting me a new car because the Jetta, as loveable as he's been, is on his way out, he's a dying bloke who just wants me to give it a rest. We've been through a lot, September marked our 10 year anniversary and that is really saying something. Not many people own cars for 10 years anymore, seems people are so often upgrading or switching make or models of cars for newer, bigger, better and those old tried and true get passed on after only a few short years. Riley, however, (that's the Jetta's name...my cousin and I named our cars 10 years ago 'Riley and Chloe' after characters from one of the Olsen Twins' shows)....Chloe was given up many years ago, but Riley has been with me through oh so much.
Needless to say, we found ol' Lucille up in Portland while visiting family and decided she was too good to pass up, canceled our flights home (thank goodness we were flying Southwest where you can cancel and that $ just goes toward your next flight!) and we made the 11 hour drive back down on New Years Day.
Now, we haven't decided what to do with the Jetta. We've debated attempting to seel the heap o' junk, but really that wouldn't get us much money what with all the problems and "quirks" as I like to call them. There's also the possibility of just parting it out, but that seems a shame since he is still running, although barely... not to mention the idea of just stripping it all apart almost breaks my heart just thinking about it. The other option, which I am kind of keen on, is just keeping it as a back-up or secondary vehicle. It can't hurt right? Although, it hurts my wallet a little insuring 2 cars, but in the grand scheme of things, it just seems smart to have a second vehicle, which J can always drive if need be.

So anyway, all my excitement about the new car made me totally get side tracked and forget why I was posting. NEW YEARS!
 Last year's resolution:
My new years resolution for 2012 is to focus on what I can do, what I'm capable of and what I am able to work toward. Focusing on the cans instead of dwelling on the cannots. 

In terms of this resolution, I'd say that overall, I did a pretty fine job of this in 2012. I am so quick to get discouraged and give up because of negative feedback or a bad review or just my own insecurities but in 2012 I managed to endure quite a bit of criticism, let downs, disappointments, and more criticism (especially where research is concerned!) and despite all of that, I still managed to get done what I needed to, achieve more than I thought I was capable of, and do this with a fair amount of professionalism and poise (although I am not above crying in the bathroom or having a mini meltdown at home). I think this was such an awesome resolution for me to challenge myself with because it is something I really struggle with, and continue to struggle with, although I feel like after a year of actively keeping it a goal, I think I've improved a great deal, although more improvement is always something to strive for. 

In terms of 2013, I've decided my resolution will be more output focused with a measurable goal for myself. With that said:
My new year's resolution for 2013 is to do 5 things to benefit myself each week and document these 5 things. 
These things can be anything from enjoyable activities, bettering my career path, physical activities, alone time, special outings with others, whatever will be beneficial for me and my soul. In 2011 I made a resolution to work toward finding a balance between school and self/others time in order to be a better balanced person overall. This resolution for 2013 is stemming partly from this aspect, but also because so often I get wrapped up in what I'm doing with school or responsibilities that I forget to enjoy life. Although I've done a good job at attempting to have that balance, I feel like in the end stress is still winning and where does that leave me? Exhausted, drained, and irritable. 
This resolution for 2013 is unique in the way that I am holding myself accountable for keeping up with and documenting these 5 beneficial things, and where will I be documenting these? Why... right here! I spent much of 2012 complaining how I wasn't writing anymore and how frustrated I was that I couldn't seem to make time for that, for something I enjoy. So here it is in writing. 
That means, that there will need to be at least 52 postings for 2013 if I am documenting things once a week and that way, I am killing a few birds with one stone. Woo!
So here is to a new year, one likely filled with excitement, disappointment, stress, pressure, upsets, and surprises. More importantly, here is to finding more joy through out all 52 weeks of 2013!