Week 48: Nov 25th-Dec 1st: My 'Christmas Crazy' officially shines through

Now that the holidays are approaching, I'm finding it much easier to find 5 things each week that are beneficial to me. Anything Christmas related with make my list, and I try to do any and everything Christmas related, as often as I can ;)

My 5 things:

1. Went to the gym once for yoga. Unfortunately, I was left utterly useless for days after that spinning class last week.

2. Went on a hike on Thanksgiving morning with J and Riley. It was Riley's 1st hiking experience, he was kind of a little shit but that was to be expected. It was the same hike J and I did last Thanksgiving, we decided to continue the tradition this year.

3. J and I made an entire Thanksgiving feast for ourselves. We took on everything from the turkey to the sweet potatoes. All in all, it was really awesome, despite not being able to be with family.

4. Baked Gingerbread cookies for the first time ever.

5. Spent my Saturday, while J went and did man things, by myself watching silly Christmas movies and working on Christmas crafts/gifts.

Week 31: July 29th-Aug 5th...APA sucess and HAWAII adventures!

A day late again, however, this time.... I really do have a good excuse. Hawaii. Enough said, right?
This past week I was in Hawaii for the annual APA conference. I remember when I 1st began my program in 2010 when I found out that APA would be holding the conference in Hawaii in 2013 I said "I'm presenting at that conference...I don't know what, or how, but I will be". Sure enough, my poster was accepted and I was going to be presenting at APA. I hadn't been back to Hawaii since I moved back to the mainland in 2010 so this was my 1st time back since living there.
It was such a strange experience, to be vacationing in the place I used to eat, sleep, work, and study. So naturally, my 5 things for this post all revolve around Hawaii.

My 5 things:

1. I went hiking THREE times. I made sure to space out the hikes so that I wasn't doing 2 hikes in hopes of not upsetting my injury too much. I also made sure to do a lot of stretches before and after in order to avoid further injury. Although, I focused so much on stretching my IT band that I neglected other areas such as my calves and WOW after Koko Head, my calves we're soooo mad at me.

The top of Koko Head

On our way back down Koko Head

Sacred Falls

We did Diamond Head the first day we were there, then Koko Head on Friday and then Sacred Falls hike on Sunday. Still shocked we managed to fit in 3 hikes on our 6 day trip but I was pretty determined...obviously since the first thing we did when we got off the plane was head straight to Diamond Head before we even dropped off our luggage.

2. I got to see on of my closest friends, Lisa..my roommate from college. She is actually moving to Arizona tomorrow but was still out in Hawaii so the timing was absolutely perfect! I also got to see my old boss and some co-workers and other friends from college. I didn't get to see as many as I would have liked, but given the time length of the trip and the amount of stuff we did... I think we did pretty good.

3. I got to present at APA!! This was my first APA experience so it was pretty exciting in that regard, plus it was a goal of mine for the last 3 years so I am pretty proud of that.

4. I indulged in some absolutely delicious food. I had madea list prior to the trip of a bunch of my favorite spots for good eats that I wanted J to experience so we checked off as many from the list as we could in that time frame. Leonards, Rainbow Drive-in, Ezogiku, musubis, manapuas, plate lunch, chicken katsu, shave ice, Genke, and the list continues.

5. Explored parts of the island that were new to me too. It was J's first time to Hawaii ever, so I knew there were staple things he needed to see/do: Diamond Head, sunset cruise, Koko Head, Waiks, etc but I've done all those. It was nice to explore other areas and do things that were new for both of us like hiking Sacred Falls and visiting parts of North Shore in search of sea turtles which was a total success!

 I made sure we were respectful of the hono and stayed well enough away (thank goodness for zoom on cameras so I got some amazing photos!) We were literally, the onlys ones on the beach for miles. There were a few fisherman in the distance, but other than that it was only us and these beautiful creatures. This is not your every day Hawaii experience.

Week 22: May 27th-June 2nd= My "Golden" Birthday

Well well, I am late this week on posting. So sue me! I spent practically all day yesterday in the library so I was a little brain dead when I returned home and not in much a mood to write.

I would like to take a minute, before reflecting on this past week, to make a note that today I attended my last class ever of my graduate career. I am officially done with classes... well, I still have a take-home final that is due at the end of next week.. but as far as attending class goes: I'M DONE!Strange.. because I still have so much further to go in my program but I've "learned" everything I need. HAH!

So, it was my birthday on Wednesday the 29th. My golden birthday: 29 on the 29th. I had hoped something monumental was going to happen, like some sort of metamorphosis into something magical or some special powers would have surfaced but no such luck. I've spend 28+ years waiting for this Golden Birthday and it turns out, it's like every other birthday: Just another day.   

Ok, my 5 things:

1. On my birthday I had to work all day seeing clients at my practicum. So J surprised me with steak (my favorite) and ice cream at home that evening. I pigged out with no regard to calories. It was, after all, my birthday so that was allowed.

2. I found myself taking a few naps throughout the week. One of them I took on my actual birthday (although, that actually made me feel kind of lame, but that is going back to the whole "your Golden Birthday is supposed to be magical" fallacy I had been tricked into believing)

3. My best friend and her fiance (haha feels silly to call him that) came to visit. This was my first actual 'here just to visit me' guests. Pretty exciting. They got to see where J and I live and we showed them around San Francisco. Neither of them had ever been so it was a lot to cover in 1 day, but J did a pretty excellent job as a guide.

4. Having my best friend face to face is when we do our best communicating. We've gotten a lot better with texting and emailing so we no longer go weeks or months (gasp!) without speaking. Nothing beats face to face though. It is not even that we talk about anything monumental, (although wedding plans etc was pretty important this time around) but it is just being able to communicate and know that the other person knows exactly what you mean, even when others around you are disagreeing or failing to see the logic. She gets it. She always has.

5. Sunday J and I decided to take an impromptu mini road trip up to Gridley, CA. It is where his grandpa used to live and J's talked about this candy story: Penny Candy since, well pretty much since I've known him. We made the almost 3 hour drive up there and I got to experience part of J's childhood, walking around the store picking out any candy I wanted and filling our basket.

Week 21: May 20th-26th...any day now

I was going to start out with how it is "that time of year" when everything piles up and I feel like I might explode...but then I realized, when is it NOT that time for me?  We're nearing the end of the quarter so it feels more so than usual, especially since I'm supposed to somehow have a 1st draft of my dissertation proposal by 6/14 and let me just say, I am definitely no where near close to having that (it's about a 40-50 page proposal of which I have maybe about 5 pages written). Add that to everything else that is going on plus trying to be somewhat excited about a trip to Hawaii that we're planning, having to worry about moving in July, and trying to not completely dread this birthday I've got coming this week. I could really use some major stress relief. Any day now.

My 5 things:

1. Went running. Unfortunately, only once...again. I went on Tuesday, and actually had to stop partway through it because of my injury. It started hurting pretty severely at just under a mile and a half. I decided not to push it and the whole rest of the day I was in pain. This pain continued (although dulled) over the next few days which lead to my pathetic running count of 1 for the week.

2. I actually wrote in here, not just on my usual Monday update. It is rare I find the combination of time/energy/motivation to sit down and compile my thoughts into print but when the planets align, it really is a wonderful outlet. There is always so much spinning around in my head and when I'm able to release an ounce of it here or there it makes a world of difference.

3. I baked cookies on Saturday for a BBQ I was attending on Sunday. I made my now-becoming-a-staple peanut butter cookies. I ran into a problem when I realized I was stuck at home without a vehicle and didn't have an eggs. Thankfully, I was able to get creative and utilized a substitute that, while it sounds disgusting, turned out to work pretty well. I only needed one egg, and a couple tbsp of mayonnaise did the trick just fine. They were a big hit with everyone, until I told J the magic ingredient and then he decided they were "gross".

4. Saturday evening my friend Rob who was down in the area for business came over to our side of the bay to get some drinks in early celebration for my birthday. Rob, J and I went to Alameda to a bar and got some drinks and toasted to me turning yet another year older. Thankfully, Rob is turning 30 this year so I didn't feel so old. I drank too much, which rarely happens and I didn't have to drive, which also rarely happens (and is likely why the 1st thing is a rarity).

5. Sunday, in all my hungover glory, we went to a BBQ at Rob's sister's house. There was tons of delicious food to which I made sure to eat any and everything available to me. I'm not sure why, but when I'm hungover it is like I am unable to get full. I just want to eat all day long....so I did. It was nice to be outside in the sun, eating wonderful food. 

Week 16: April 15th-21st 2013: Frustration. Where does it get you?

So it's a week later, and I still have no practicum placement to call my own.
I've applied to 3 sites, and haven't heard back from any. Others have heard back and even have interviews (some even have placements already!). I'm terrible at being optimistic. 
What makes all this so much worse, is that we have our 3rd year Oral clinical competency exam (basically 1 hour of sitting across from two faculty while you come up with diagnoses/assessment/treatment/cultural formulation/safety issues/yadda yadda right off the top of your head...no pressure) in about 2 weeks. I haven't found the time to study much, and even when i do I'm constantly checking my email for practicum updates and to see if anyone has gotten back to me.
I feel like I'm constantly frustrated. As my professor last quarter told me: "Frustration won't get you anywhere" and she's right but when you're doing the best you can, and your best just isn't good enough, where does that leave you but frustrated?
I was thinking about that earlier when I was doing yoga and my knee was bothering me. I had to cool it on running this past week because my IT band injury was acting up. Not being able to run is just about one of the most frustrating things for me. Today I opted for yoga instead of running and was thinking how angry I am with my IT band and how frustrated it makes me. Then I thought "my IT band doesn't care how frustrated I am, it's injured, and no matter how mad I am at it, it's not going to heal itself just because I'm frustrated. then my professor's words loomed into my head "Frustration won't get you anywhere". Unfortunately, no matter how angry I am at my injury or how mad it makes me...it isn't going away, and it isn't going to change just based on that fact. With my knee (or IT band to be more technically correct), I need to have patience, I need to utilize other things (ie yoga) when I can't do what I really want, I have to continue to slowly work back up to running and stop getting angry when I'm not running as much as I used to. Basically, I need to give myself some credit for what I have accomplished, learn to settle for what I've got in front of me, and work with what I'm given. I need to learn to accept that it isn't going to be the way I want it, but that it can still be something if I allow it to be.
Maybe I need to take that same concept and apply it to my practicum issue. Give myself some credit for what I've been able to accomplish, learn to settle for what is available to me, and accept that it isn't going to be the way I want it but that it can still be something if I allow it to be.
I think it both cases... I've got a lot of work cut out for me. Who wants to settle for being less than? But then again, who doesn't have much choice in the matter?
So negative lately.

My 5 things:
1. Went running, but only once because my injury started to bother me and I thought it best not to push it. I still went once, so that counts for something.

2. Went to the Spring Gala my school hosts every year. This year it was on a boat, dinner, dancing, casino games, drinks, fun times!

View of San Francisco from the boat 

It left around 8pm, giving us a beautiful skyline to look at. This was J's first time being in town (well now living) for the gala so he got to be my date. It was so much fun to be with friends and enjoy the awesome view.

3. Did an hour of yoga on Monday, after I found out I was officially rejected and having to go to clearing house. I had wanted to go running to blow off steam but had just gone the day before, so instead I opted for trying to clear my mind.

4. Saturday, J and I got lunch at the food carts in Alameda, Chairman is by far, the best!! After we ate, we took a stroll in Alameda and just enjoyed the sun.

5. Sunday, after we did some work at home, we set off for Alameda to lay on the beach and soak up some sun! It was about 80 degrees, with an awesome breeze. We packed a picnic lunch and I studied for my Oral Exam...but at least I was able to get some vitamin D in the process!

Week 6: Feb. 4th-10th.. Mid Quarter crisis

MIDTERMS!!! Oy! I'm about ready to crumble into pieces. Just completed week 5 of the quarter, which means we're half way through and midterms are due this week. Oh and so are practicum applications, and my dissertation update, and we have house guests, and I'm fighting off sickness.
Of course it couldn't be spread out or anything, right? Because that's not how life works.
I feel like I'm losing my marbles a bit, which I suppose I can't remember the last time I actually felt like I had my marbles, or had a handle on anything at all.
It's been a tough week to come up with 5 things that I was able to do that were enjoyable or beneficial, but really this is the time I need them the most.

My 5 things:

1. In the midst of running errands to the post office and the bank, J and I stumbled upon a gathering of food carts over in Alameda. We decided to partake in the excitement and check it out. There was live music, sunshine, and delicious food and even splurged to try their ginger lemonade, and may I just say: YUM!!. I thought it was a good idea to take a seat and enjoy as apposed to getting the food and taking it or eating it in the car. It was awesome to be outside, enjoying good food, good company, and a good atmosphere. We've become such homebodys, it was nice to be out and about for a moment.

2. We've had house guests which is fun and stressful all at the same time. We went on Friday over to SF and then came back this way in the evening. It was one of our guest's birthday so we went out in Alameda for drinks to celebrate. Again, just being out and doing something out of the ordinary for me is a nice change of pace.

3. I made little Valentine's Day treat bags for my goddaughters and niece and nephew. I know how much I love getting things in the mail, and it's been a tradition really since I moved away to send little goodies. I mailed those out this weekend to ensure their arrival by Valentine's Day. I miss those little ones so much, and it pains me to know I'm missing out on some of the most precious times with them during these years. I know sending them little presents and candy doesn't make up for that, but hopefully it shows them that I'm thinking of them and that they are loved.

4.  So due to some misfortune, my canceled flight back funds that I thought I'd be using for Vegas, expire March 9th. I decided, after much debate, that I would take a trip home the first weekend of March. It will be a short trip, only Saturday-Monday but I think some quality time with my family will do me quite well. I booked that trip last Friday and instantly my mood elevated, just with the thought of getting to see my family, and knowing I'm not losing out on $100 helps too ;)

5. I listened to NPR for the first time in my life (willingly anyway). I put it on during my long commute and took a listen. This is a huge thing for me, as I used to despise talk radio. I'm still getting used to it, and obviously there are times when the content just isn't doing it for me, but it is a nice change from music, and it also allows me to get a little glimpse into what is going on in the world, and in elements of life other than just graduate school. I liked it, I think I'll do it more often.

It's Peanut Butter time

I go through cravings for different foods. These cravings are intense and refused to be satisfied with anything short of exactly what it is I am jonesin for. I am frightened for the time when I become pregnant because, if my cravings are as invasive and demanding now, I can only imagine what an influx of hormones will do to them.
These cravings can last anywhere from a week to a month at a time. I've learned to just give into them, allow myself whatever it is that I'm yearning for and eventually, I get tired of it and my body turns to a new obsession. Sometimes these cravings are for junk food, sometimes fruits or vegetables, etc.
These cravings can be anything as extensive as specific type of pizza or pasta, to simpler things like potatoes or pickles. The most recent culprit:

Peanut Butter.

On an odd note, I just realized as I typed up some of my more recent cravings.. they're all foods beginning with the letter P. Strange. Wonder if that was just a result of congruent memory recall or if there is actually a peculiar pattern emerging.
Regardless, it's currently peanut butter. In the mornings, after my run I usually have a single piece of wheat toast with peanut butter and my afternoon/evening snacks have been consisting of apple slices with peanut butter. I don't think my body actually enjoys peanunt butter though, because the last 2 days after my snack I feel slightly ill.
Could it be possible to O.D. on peanut better? Doubtful, but my body sure seems to think so.