30 Days of being Thankful: 2013 edition

Once again, as November comes to a close, I can reflect on my "30 Days of Being Thankful". It is interesting to look back at the 2012 list and see how many of the things I am thankful for have not changed and how many revolve around my family. I made it a point not to review last year's list before beginning this one. I wanted to be able to compare.

During my internship applications and essays I've had to reflect a great deal on my values. These lists compliment what I discovered during that reflection time: family is the most important value for me. I mean, that is no big secret, or difficult puzzle to piece together. It is ovious through anything I say/do/write that family is important. Just how embedded into my core it is, however, was initially unclear to me.

Day 1: I'm thankful all my hard work, persistence, and stress paid off and I am able to apply for internship this year.

Day 2: I'm thankful for being able to have quality time in my neck of the woods with my loved ones.

Day 3: I'm thankful for boots, hats, and scarves.

Day 4: I'm thankful I enjoy cooking and baking...and that I'm not too shabby at it either.

Day 5: I'm thankful I have some great ladies with me at practicum this year.

Day 6: I'm thankful for my own little family with J and Riley. 

Day 7: I'm thankful for River, Heidi, Nia, and Taylor. I am so grateful to be a part of their lives...even though distance prevents this from being a very big part, these little girls can brighten my day from miles and miles away. 

Day 8: I'm thankful for mornings with no alarm clock. 

Day 9: I'm thankful for my family being so supportive, especially during some of my most difficult times. I'm really lucky to have them. 

Day 10: I'm so very thankful for the generosity of others.

Day 11: I'm thankful for all those who have served, from the ones I hold dear to the ones I'll never meet. 

Day 12: I'm thankful for my soul mate..the macaroni to my cheese: Starry. For all she does, for the beautiful hooligans she's brought into this world, and for the endless laughter and memories. 

Day 13: I am thankful I have a man in my life with such talent, passion, and ambition for his work. It is incredibly motivating and inspiring to me. 

Day 14: I'm thankful for sweatpants, because some days....just call for sweatpants. 

Day 15: I'm thankful for GOOD news, like the coverage of Batkid. That is a story that definitely deserves some airtime. 

Today, I witnessed a woman get robbed. I wasn't able to help her get her things back, but I was able to comfort her, support her while she dealt with the police, keep her company while she waited for a locksmith for her car, and make sure she had a way to pay the toll to get home. Today reminded me how important it is, to be there for others, even when others are strangers. Day 16: I'm thankful we all possess the power to help one another. 

Day 17: I am thankful for all the hilarious, loving, wonderful memories I have with my gigantic, loud, overwhelming (for anyone not born into it) family. 

Day 18: I'm thankful for my health and what my body is capable of (so long as I don't compare myself to anyone else at the gym).

 

Day 19: I'm thankful there are honest people in this world. 

Day 20: I'm thankful for the rain. 

Day 21: I am thankful for my sisters. From everything they've taught me growing up to the countless times they have been my cheerleaders, my teachers, and my protectors. They are some of my best friends and my biggest supporters. 

Day 22: I am thankful I am a brunette. 

Day 23: I am thankful for girl time. 

Day 24: ..with 1 minute to spare... I am thankful for spontaneity and random adventures.

Day 25: I am thankful for my nephews Alec, Giovanni, Makai, Asa, and Isaac. These little (and not so little) men bring so much joy and laughter to our family. 

Day 26: I am thankful for Sherri and I'm so grateful I get to call her my mom. 

Day 27: I am thankful for....wine. 

Wanted to wish the happiest of birthdays to my dad. Such a wonderful, caring, wise, and hilarious man I'm so proud to have for a father.Love you and miss you, will see you in a few weeks! Day 28: I am thankful he is my dad. 

Day 29: I am thankful that 2 weeks from today, we'll be on our way home. 

Day 30: Despite wanting to rip my hair out some days....I'm thankful this guy came into our lives. 

Week 47: Nov 18th-24th=self care at its best (and worst!)

Got another rejection today. This time, from a site in Alabama. I am less attached to the idea of this site, although the irony is that I had it listed as one of my "safe sites" as in, I thought I had the best chances of getting an interview for that one. Hmph. Whoops.

My 5 things:

1. I went to the gym 3 times: 1st time was a session with a personal trainer. He had me doing stair runs and my IT band got really angry with me about that. I also did yoga and tried spinning for the first (and quite likely LAST) time. Holy hell, I seriously almost didn't make it out of there alive.

2. I turned in all my applications so they're all completed. I even turned in a few early that don't have due dates until the end of the month.... all that just in time to get more rejections. (being a negative Nancy some how makes it easier, I guess).

3. J and I watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation :) Man, I absolutely love Christmas. 

4. I met up with some of my friends for beer and good eats to catch up down in the south bay. It was totally worth the 45 mile drive for me. I haven't seen some of those girls in months.

5. Last night I accepted an invite to a random club in Oakland to see a band called Vagabondage with a girl from my program whom I've never actually hung out with one on one. It turned out to be a really great time and the other bands that played were awesome as well. 

Week 40: Sept 30th-Oct 6th: ho-hum but no bottle of rum.

This week J is gearing up to head to Oklahoma City for an art show he is doing at a gallery there. I will be in single-mom territory as it will be just the pup and me for 5 days. I'm not looking forward to that but I am excited for J's art show, he's created some pretty amazing things and it is great that others outside of the bay area will get to see them first hand. 

My 5 things:

1. I looked into gyms in my area. Perhaps if I pay for motivation... it's crazy enough it just might work. I basically need someone telling me what to do and how long to suffer and do it (ie taking classes at a gym). I even contacted one gym, but have yet to go in and get a pricing. I am reluctant because we really cannot afford it, although J seems pretty supportive about figuring it out if it is what I want. (Hmm..is he trying to tell me something?).

2. I met up with a friend over the weekend and we went to lunch. We also took the pup to a dog park. I drove all the way to the south bay (about 45 miles) to visit with her. The distance is the reason it is rare I ever see any of my school friends. Seems like a long trek just for a few hours of social time.

3. We took the dog to the dog park a few times. It's nice to get outside and even (gasp!) socialize with other people. Plus I think we felt guilty because we took him in to get his balls chopped today. Poor pup.

4. Yesterday morning we got up early and J and I stopped to get a coffee and breakfast treat at a little coffee shop near the dog park. We almost always have coffee at home, so it's a rarity that we splurge on anything like that.

5. I enlisted my sisters in some future plans. I am what I have deemed "Christmas Crazy" as in, absolutely crazy about Christmas. I love everything about it and start getting excited around September and the excitement does not let up for months. I decided that my sisters and I need more quality time (since I am only ever up there in the PNW for a few weeks out of the year). I let them know yesterday that we will be getting Christmas crafty when I come up in December with baked goods, crafts, and Christmas music. Planning for Christmas things makes my heart happy. It helps that they agreed ;)  

Week 33: Aug 12th-18th-My 1st PIE!

It is 9pm and I just now realized it is Monday.
Ok, that is not entirely true. I was at work today, so I obviously knew which day of the week it was, but it was not until this moment that I realized today is the day I write. Initially I thought "oh well, I'll just write tomorrow and be a day late" but then the other part of my brain yelled back "what kind of attitude is that?!". Again, that may not be entirely true but... true enough.

So here it is, my 5 things:

1. I went running yesterday! Finally! I just checked back and I haven't gone on a run since mid July. Wow, thinking about that bums me out a little. Granted, I did a lot of hiking in Hawaii and I did a 2 mile walk the other day, but I haven't ran in a month? Shame on me. Needless to say, I am incredibly thankful I did. I'm sore in the best way (still able to move but sore enough to know my body accomplished something). I've been lacking energy MAJORLY lately, as in constantly falling asleep while sitting, reading, etc. I know it is from my lack of movement, but feeling that lethargic makes it that much more difficult to get up and get going. I need to put in more effort here. How many times do I have to write that each week before I actually DO IT?!?

2. Finished reading my book. It was an awesome read! Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. I recommend it for anyone looking for a quick and entertaining book. I finished just in time too because I got my dissertation proposal edits back the same day. Whomp whomp!

3. I baked my 1st ever pie! Strawberry Rhubarb. It just so happens to be mine and J's favorite pie. I think it turned out pretty well actually. J had some critiques about it but that was because he's basing it off his grandma's perfected recipe. I'd say for a 1st timer I did pretty dang swell. (Ok, ok...I used a pre-made crust, so I am somewhat of a cheat but, I'm still learning!)

4. I made homemade coleslaw. Not that this is some super difficult task, it was actually quite simple, but still. It is something I had never ventured into and therefore knew nothing about. We had the 2nd portion of our humongous pork butt (... I can't help but giggle at that sentence) left and J said it was time to make a million pounds of pulled pork again. I decided to make a more general version in order to make it easier to do more things with the pulled pork (and not have to have BBQ everything). So I decided to also make some coleslaw to accompany our 1st of many pork meals: BBQ pulled pork sandwiches. I've never been a huge coleslaw fan, but I kept seeing BBQ pulled pork sandwiches paired with it so I decided it was time. J said he wasn't much of a fan of the stuff either but he ate my batch with a smile. Success!

5. Friday I get a text from a friend I knew when I went to University of Hawaii who I hadn't seen in years. She was in town and she and her friends had an extra ticket to the A's game that night against the Indians. Despite my 4am wake up that morning for work, I decided I needed to get out and do something, be social. I accepted her offer and ended up having an awesome time. Took the Bart to the game, the ticket deal came with a soda, hot dog and peanuts. No baseball game is complete with out that ;) Although, J called me a traitor for going to an A's game, because we're definitely a Giants house. Oops.

Week 31: July 29th-Aug 5th...APA sucess and HAWAII adventures!

A day late again, however, this time.... I really do have a good excuse. Hawaii. Enough said, right?
This past week I was in Hawaii for the annual APA conference. I remember when I 1st began my program in 2010 when I found out that APA would be holding the conference in Hawaii in 2013 I said "I'm presenting at that conference...I don't know what, or how, but I will be". Sure enough, my poster was accepted and I was going to be presenting at APA. I hadn't been back to Hawaii since I moved back to the mainland in 2010 so this was my 1st time back since living there.
It was such a strange experience, to be vacationing in the place I used to eat, sleep, work, and study. So naturally, my 5 things for this post all revolve around Hawaii.

My 5 things:

1. I went hiking THREE times. I made sure to space out the hikes so that I wasn't doing 2 hikes in hopes of not upsetting my injury too much. I also made sure to do a lot of stretches before and after in order to avoid further injury. Although, I focused so much on stretching my IT band that I neglected other areas such as my calves and WOW after Koko Head, my calves we're soooo mad at me.

The top of Koko Head

On our way back down Koko Head

Sacred Falls

We did Diamond Head the first day we were there, then Koko Head on Friday and then Sacred Falls hike on Sunday. Still shocked we managed to fit in 3 hikes on our 6 day trip but I was pretty determined...obviously since the first thing we did when we got off the plane was head straight to Diamond Head before we even dropped off our luggage.

2. I got to see on of my closest friends, Lisa..my roommate from college. She is actually moving to Arizona tomorrow but was still out in Hawaii so the timing was absolutely perfect! I also got to see my old boss and some co-workers and other friends from college. I didn't get to see as many as I would have liked, but given the time length of the trip and the amount of stuff we did... I think we did pretty good.

3. I got to present at APA!! This was my first APA experience so it was pretty exciting in that regard, plus it was a goal of mine for the last 3 years so I am pretty proud of that.

4. I indulged in some absolutely delicious food. I had madea list prior to the trip of a bunch of my favorite spots for good eats that I wanted J to experience so we checked off as many from the list as we could in that time frame. Leonards, Rainbow Drive-in, Ezogiku, musubis, manapuas, plate lunch, chicken katsu, shave ice, Genke, and the list continues.

5. Explored parts of the island that were new to me too. It was J's first time to Hawaii ever, so I knew there were staple things he needed to see/do: Diamond Head, sunset cruise, Koko Head, Waiks, etc but I've done all those. It was nice to explore other areas and do things that were new for both of us like hiking Sacred Falls and visiting parts of North Shore in search of sea turtles which was a total success!

 I made sure we were respectful of the hono and stayed well enough away (thank goodness for zoom on cameras so I got some amazing photos!) We were literally, the onlys ones on the beach for miles. There were a few fisherman in the distance, but other than that it was only us and these beautiful creatures. This is not your every day Hawaii experience.

Week 28: July 8th-14th: Puppy takes over

My 5 things:

1. Got a puppy. Now, this was not actually my idea and I had (have!) a lot of reservations about it, but at the same time this guy is just adorable and really hard not to fall in love with.

I do have dog allergies, which are proving to be difficult to adjust to. We've had him almost a week now and my body isn't exactly alright with the whole situation but hopefully it will get easier with time. Not to mention he is a handful and a half!
 Puppies are no joke and I don't understand how so many people get puppies because they are such a HUGE responsibility. Cute yes, a major hassle, double yes!


2. I spent time at home by myself catching up on The L-Word. It isn't a show that I make J watch with me, because lets face it, there is estrogen overload going on all the time in the show and he's not a fan of that sort of thing (although, he has a secret love for the movie Sweet Home Alabama that I do not understand. I mean, I like the movie, but I do not get what he loves about it so much). Regardless, I use The L-Word as my own little guilty pleasure to enjoy by myself.

3. I baked cookies this weekend.

4. Two of my friends from school made the trek up from the south bay to meet the new pup and after we went to lunch and got ice cream. It was a belated birthday celebration for me since we never did get together for mine. I rarely get to see them or any of my friends from school for that matter since I moved to Oakland, so it is always nice to be able to reconnect in person.

5. Yard work. What? Yard work is on my list of 5 things that is beneficial for me? So, it's not exactly a party in my honor, but it is great to be able to be outside and being active while also making progress and accomplishing something. I did it twice this last week. Although, my allergies hated me after the 2nd day and took a toll on my body because of it. It kicked my butt and left me with blisters but it felt good to sweat though, especially since I've been slacking on my running, a lot.

Week 23: June 3rd-9th 2013 No more pencil, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks!

Oy! I almost forgot to post today!
I cannot have 2 weeks in a row where I'm late, that is just bad form.
So this past week something somewhat monumental occurred. I attended my last class ever in my graduate career. Apparently, I've learned everything I can in the classroom, and now it's just working in the field and on my dissertation. Crazy. Speaking of...I'm supposed to have my 1st draft of my proposal by this Friday. I'm at about 17 of the 50 pages I need. This should be an interesting week. 

My 5 things:

1. I baked cookies in celebration of my last day of class. It was all I could do to stay sane knowing I had a 60 minute group presentation and a 15 minute individual presentation looming the following day. I really know how to go out with a bang...my last class ever was spent in front of the class for about half the 3 hour class.

2. After I attended my last official class of my graduate career, I went over to to Chevy's (which is across the street from my school's clinic campus) with some girls from my program to celebrate. I only had an hour to spare as I needed to be in research group at 5pm and class got out at 3:50pm. Just enough time to enjoy a happy hour margarita, shoot the shit with some friends and load up on chips and salsa.

3. J and I took our free movie ticket and went to see a movie Saturday night. only having to pay for 1 ticket feels like it's a treat ;) I'd been wanting to go see The Great Gatsby, but since we'd been dragging our feet to get to the theater for weeks, it was no longer playing at the Regal's by our house. Instead, we went to see The Internship. That is how much I love J (well, and Vince Vaughn). The fact that I was willing to sit through 2 hours of my arch nemesis (and PAY to do so!!) tells you how much I love them. I absolutely despise Owen Wilson. I cannot stand the way he talks, his facr, his mouth, his voice... hell I never saw the movie Cars...just because he did the voice for the animated movie! That is how much I despise him. I usually boycott his movies, but will admit.. when Vince Vaughn is in them... I make an exception.  The good news is: the movie was good enough that I could almost tolerate his bleached-butt-hole-looking lips and that annoying voice. Plus, I love popcorn.

4. I called my sister who I hadn't talked to in awhile and had a really great talk. J referred to us as "2 hens in a hen house...cackling away". It's rare enough to find a friend like that, and even more so to share 50% of your DNA with them. I hate that I'm so far away, but when she and I are able to have a talk like that where we just really get each other, and can laugh, and relate... it feels like I'm right there with her.

5. I tried my hardest to sleep in on the weekend. I think I made it until about 8am...and that was pushing it. 

Week 21: May 20th-26th...any day now

I was going to start out with how it is "that time of year" when everything piles up and I feel like I might explode...but then I realized, when is it NOT that time for me?  We're nearing the end of the quarter so it feels more so than usual, especially since I'm supposed to somehow have a 1st draft of my dissertation proposal by 6/14 and let me just say, I am definitely no where near close to having that (it's about a 40-50 page proposal of which I have maybe about 5 pages written). Add that to everything else that is going on plus trying to be somewhat excited about a trip to Hawaii that we're planning, having to worry about moving in July, and trying to not completely dread this birthday I've got coming this week. I could really use some major stress relief. Any day now.

My 5 things:

1. Went running. Unfortunately, only once...again. I went on Tuesday, and actually had to stop partway through it because of my injury. It started hurting pretty severely at just under a mile and a half. I decided not to push it and the whole rest of the day I was in pain. This pain continued (although dulled) over the next few days which lead to my pathetic running count of 1 for the week.

2. I actually wrote in here, not just on my usual Monday update. It is rare I find the combination of time/energy/motivation to sit down and compile my thoughts into print but when the planets align, it really is a wonderful outlet. There is always so much spinning around in my head and when I'm able to release an ounce of it here or there it makes a world of difference.

3. I baked cookies on Saturday for a BBQ I was attending on Sunday. I made my now-becoming-a-staple peanut butter cookies. I ran into a problem when I realized I was stuck at home without a vehicle and didn't have an eggs. Thankfully, I was able to get creative and utilized a substitute that, while it sounds disgusting, turned out to work pretty well. I only needed one egg, and a couple tbsp of mayonnaise did the trick just fine. They were a big hit with everyone, until I told J the magic ingredient and then he decided they were "gross".

4. Saturday evening my friend Rob who was down in the area for business came over to our side of the bay to get some drinks in early celebration for my birthday. Rob, J and I went to Alameda to a bar and got some drinks and toasted to me turning yet another year older. Thankfully, Rob is turning 30 this year so I didn't feel so old. I drank too much, which rarely happens and I didn't have to drive, which also rarely happens (and is likely why the 1st thing is a rarity).

5. Sunday, in all my hungover glory, we went to a BBQ at Rob's sister's house. There was tons of delicious food to which I made sure to eat any and everything available to me. I'm not sure why, but when I'm hungover it is like I am unable to get full. I just want to eat all day long....so I did. It was nice to be outside in the sun, eating wonderful food. 

Week 14: April 1st-7th running, dancing, and rejection day

So today is supposed to be the official rejection day from all the sites that are no longer considering you for practicum placement. I mean, I think I've figured it out by now, seeing as how Notification Day is next week and if I haven't heard from you I'm assuming I'm out of the running. Regardless, they're supposed to let us know today. I got one rejection email already. It was a mass email with an attached document that began with "Dear Practicum Applicant,". Oh gee, thanks for the thought. At least the other sites sent me an email and used my name. I mean, rejection, is rejection, is rejection but actually, personalized rejection stings a little less I think. Still waiting on rejection emails from 3 other sites although, it's after 5pm so perhaps those sites just have bad etiquette and I won't be hearing from them. 

My 5 things:

1. I went running 3 days this past week. I cannot even put into words how much better I've been feeling lately because of it. Even though I'm not running a ton or even anywhere near what I was...but I'm running! I think, in part, just knowing that I've taken it back up and that I'm  not a "failure" at yet another thing I attempted to try is making the difference in the way I feel. I'm sure a big part is also the who endorphins being released, body getting exercise, yadda yadda. But I mean really, I wouldn't be in the field I'm in if I didn't truly believe there are some psychological forces at work here.

2. J and I had our first "guests over for dinner and drinks" at our place. We've made this amazing-art filled-cozy place we call a home together and because of distance (and unsafe location) we've not really had anyone over to be able to enjoy it with us. It was really nice to be able to have friends over and be a hostess for them. At my old place in Mountain View, because of it's prime location it was home for study groups, parties, pre-gaming before going out, and girl nights. I realize I quite enjoy being the hostess and since moving to Oakland, haven't had the opportunity until now.

3. Prior to our friends coming over I was in charge of cleaning/cooking inside, as J had to tackle the ever-so-daunting task of replacing the heater-core (cord?) ...I don't know I'm vehicle incompetent. Regardless, major car stuff needed to be addressed which left me inside to tend to the house. This included sweeping/mopping/dusting/scrubbing the entire house and preparing appetizers and dinner sides and entrees. So, to make this more enjoyable I busted out my '80's Ladies' playlist which consists of Janet, Paula, and Madonna Only the stuff they made in the 80's though, of course) and I proceeded to dance and sing while performing all above mentioned tasks. This left me with a bit of a workout and very clean house with delicious food, and of course an elevated mood because who doesn't enjoy rocking out to those gals, I mean really?

4. Went out Saturday night to celebrate a friend's birthday. It consisted of going out dancing, which J is not into the whole club scene and I can only take it in small doses (ie if I get to drink and dance). Luckliy, Saturday I got to do both and J was such a good sport about it, which made it that much better. I absolutely love dancing (obviously... 2 out of my 5 things on this list this week involve shaking my groove thing) and love when I have an opportunity to go out with friends, have a good time and DANCE DANCE DANCE!

5. So J decided we needed to invest in a gaming system. He bought a handheld (but can be hooked up the the TV) unit for Super Nintendo. He also purchased some games, including Super Mario World. To say that this took up most of my time in youth would be an understatement. Now, it's no Zelda (now THAT is my game!) but I definitely spent a lot of my childhood wrapped up in Mario's worlds.

When it arrived in the mail last week, we spent about 2 hours straight playing, until I realized how horrible I am at the game now and gave up. J's been playing all weekend and although I can't compete anymore, it's still enjoyable to watch. Although, really...I think we need to get Zelda. J is not a fan of it but that game, that is the love of my life and I've yet to actually ever beat the entire game (Hmm... I do believe I'm adding that to my bucket list).

Week 13: March 25th-31st. Easter and I'm running again!

Spring break is over, although I can't actually remember any sort of break. I still had a  class (we were making up from a missed one) and I still went into Practicum, woke up at 4am, saw clients, and had supervision. I still had to work on my dissertation. Where was the break exactly? New quarter starts tomorrow.

Oh also, no practicum interviews, still. No rejections either, but I think lack of interviews at this point pretty much insinuates rejections. Waiting, waiting, still waiting. At this point I'm just waiting for rejection confirmation, which is a little ridiculous.


My 5 things:

1. I went running. Not once, not twice, but THREE times this past week. Yes, 3 times! While that used to be the norm for me (and is probably a slow week for most runners) it was definitely something I haven't done in a very, very long time. Needless to say, I'm pretty proud of this. Granted, the running wasn't anything spectacular, I did interval running (run 1 min, walk 1 min) and did about 20 total minutes (so 10 of each) but, it was running!

2. I got to talk with one of my closest friends, Lis on the phone. She and I try to keep in touch but it is usually ends up as sporadic texts on various days and then an email every couple of months. It doesn't help that there is a time difference, she's in Hawai'i so for half the year she's 3 hours behind and the other half she's 2 hours behind. This week we actually got to have a phone conversation, with some very important news. She was accepted (with funding!) to ASU for grad school! I am so very proud of her. Also, I like the idea of having her a 10 hour drive or a less than 2 hour plane ride away from me.

3. I did yoga twice this week. That totals out to 5 workouts this last week. Damn that feels good.

4. I skyped with my family when they had their Easter on Saturday at my dad's house. I got to watch the kids barrel out of the house on their hunt for eggs and watch them run around with their baskets. I got to see the faces of those I love so much and to see the beautiful weather they were having.

My dad and sister showing off their great weather

This was actually pretty bittersweet. This is now the 7th year I've been apart from my family for Easter. This holiday just always happens to fall at a time of year I'm not able to go home. It was also the first major holiday I was away from my family when I first moved away, right after everything went to shit with my family. Which is likely why it seems especially hard, even for the 7th year in a row. So although I wasn't able to be there in person, I'm thankful I got to be a small part of it.

5. I led, well I co-lead my first ever therapy group this week. It is a women's group that myself and another counselor have formed at the methadone clinic. It was actually originally her thing, she sent out an email stating she'd be starting one and I contacted her about co-leading (since I didn't have any group therapy hours under my belt). I was nervous, and there were definitely parts about it that could have gone better, but either way, I've now completed my first group. We're going to be doing it weekly through the month of April and we may continue, depending on how the month goes. Should be interesting!

30 Days of being thankful

November, being the month that houses Thanksgiving, is a time to remember what we're thankful for.

 It can be so easy to go through every day without realizing all the little (and big!) things that we have in our lives, both material and intangible. We get so caught up in our daily rituals, our responsibilities, our own minds that we forget to take a moment to really look around at what all we are blessed with.

This year, I took part in a "30 Days of Being Thankful"type of thing. I'm not sure if there is an actual name for it or not, so that is what I'll call it. I noticed on November 1st people on Facebook claiming "Day 1" or "Nov 1st" and thought...that sounds like a wonderful thing to do!

So I set out to complete 30 days worth of being thankful and to my surprise, some days were quite a challenge. It can be difficult to find the good in a day that feels like it's up against you.
I must say this was such an awesome quest for me, I found it really humbling and enriching. Some days my thanks were silly, some days material things, others people or events in my life. Each day gave me a new opportunity to shine light on an area of my life I'm thankful I have/earned/deserve/have been given. I decided to document them all here because I think it's pretty great to see them all in 1 place.

 

Day 1: I'm thankful for the house we rent, that J has made a home.

Day 2: I'm thankful for Dustin's timing on sending me random little things, unknowingly right when I need a laugh.Thanks Squash. :)

Day 3: I'm thankful for Netflix since it is currently allowing us to watch the entire series of The Wonder Years.

Day 4: I'm thankful for my wife for being in my life for 19 years and never giving up on me; despite distance, egos, changes, and mistakes.

Nov 5: Today I'm thankful for the kindness of strangers, and in East Oakland, no less. Thank you to the man who helped me at the gas station.

Day 6: Despite having done so last week via mail, today I am thankful, as a woman, for my right to vote. Oh and also for being able to get an absentee ballot and vote in my home state!

Day 7: I'm thankful for sleep because I really needed it, and was able to get a lot of it. woo! Although, I still need more.

Day 8: I'm thankful that despite all the drowning, I've managed to stay afloat in grad school thus far.

Day 9: I'm thankful I have a best friend with such awesome style that I'm still getting compliments on clothes she gave away to me like 2 years ago (and am still wearing too!)

Day 10: I'm thankful for my older brother, Troy. Although he's not my only brother, he is the one who has given me the most "older brother" memories, including all the ones where he tortures you, picks on you, makes you cry. There's also a whole lot more that include good advice, games, funny jokes, great memories, and big hugs and even bigger laughs. Love you Troylet.

Day 11: I'm thankful for those who have served and continue to serve. For all the ones I know well and hold dear to my heart, and for those I'll never meet. Happy Veterans Day ♥

Day 12: I'm thankful I have the ability to run, even with all the complications and setbacks of my injury, I'm still capable of running.

Day 13: I'm thankful to have friends I consider family, and family I consider friends.

Day 14: I'm thankful that, despite initial disappointments and rejection during 1st year, I ended up in the research group I'm in because it has proven to be a pretty great fit for me :)

Day 15: I'm thankful J is skilled enough to keep my car alive for as long as possible, because we really need it to keep living.

Day 16: I'm thankful for Chinese food delivery. It's a rarity in this house, but some days, I just really don't want to cook, or think.

Day 17: I'm finding it difficult to find something to be thankful for in the midst of all the stress...but I guess I'm thankful that I am good at baking, because as of lately, its all I've been any good at.

Day 18: I'm thankful this quarter is almost over. I don't think I can take much more. Just a few more days.

Day 19: I'm thankful for those around me that help me out to make my life a little easier, like Freda turning in my paper for me today so I didn't have to drive 85 miles just to turn it in, and for J for always taking out the trash and cleaning up (daily!) the cat poo from the strays that have decided our driveway is a litter box. It's these kinds of things that keep me from going totally insane, and for that I am oh-so-thankful!

Day 20: I'm thankful that my team pulled through (it was down to the final hour!) and we were able to submit to APA!! Here's to hoping we get accepted! :D

Day 21: I'm thankful for surprises in the mail. They really are just the best thing ever :) Especially when they're from people you love ♥

Day 22: I'm thankful I get to be an Auntie and a Godmother. My nephews, my niece and my goddaughters fill my heart with so much love I never even knew possible. I'm thankful for their parents for bringing them into this world and for allowing me the privilege of being in their lives. ♥ I love and miss all these little kiddos, even though some of them aren't very little anymore.

Day 23: I'm thankful for technology that allows me to joke with my nephew via text who is 700 miles away, and talk with my niece about what the tooth fairy brought her, even though I'm 2 states away.

Day 24: I'm thankful for how much joy I get from anything Christmas related, it makes this time of year unbelievably wonderful for me...currently watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and having pumpkin pie ice cream :D

Day 25: I'm thankful for lazy Sundays.

Day 26: I'm thankful I've been able to travel as much as I have in my life so far and been able to experience other cities, states, and other countries...and I hope to continue to do so, if grad school will allow it.

Day 27: I'm thankful for family visitors. J's dad is here until Saturday!

Day 28: I'm thankful for my dad and everything he has taught and continues to teach me and all he does for those he loves. Today also happens to be his birthday...so Happy Birthday Dad. Love you. ♥

Day 29: I'm thankful for my mom. She's helped teach me what it means to be a successful woman in this world, and that's no easy job ;)

Day 30: I'm thankful for my family, all of them. My family who made so many of my childhood memories unforgettable, and my family who have stood by me in my most difficult struggles. I could not be where I am today without all of them. I am so lucky to be a part of such a large, supportive, loving, laughter-filled family.

Guys in their 20's

Guys in their 20's are all just little lost souls.

Well, that is perhaps putting it much too harshly, but not entirely.

I'm at the age where my mid twenties are gone and my early 20's are barely recognizable and it has me contemplating things more and more. 

I'm making very general statements, based off my interactions throughout the years with males in their 20's. I'm talking boyfriends, friends, relatives, etc. All of them are included in this. 

Our 20's are a time of growth and exploration. This decade is spent learning how to be an adult, what it means to be a man or and woman, what kind of person we want to be, and the direction we want to go.

Our 20's are a time where we just begin to discover who we are, what our values are, and where our morals stand. 

In legal terms, the day you turn 18 is the day you are an adult.

The day you turn 20 you're officially no longer a teenager, and the day you turn 21...you have arrived!

Only to realize that your adult life has barely even began. (although, not all actually realize this, but it is true).

I'm not saying women are not a little lost in their 20's as well, but I think the process begins a bit sooner for them so by the time they are in their 20's, while there is still much exploration and contemplation, I think it's just....different. I've discussed it somewhat before and I'm sure I will explore it more as I continue on my journey, but now I'm just completely off topic. 

Males in their 20's. For some reason, and it never fails, they all go through a process of mourning the loss of their boyhood friends. Not an actual loss, but more so a symbolic loss. There is a time, usually in their early 20's where their friends start to have serious girlfriends and stop partying/drinking/partaking in the silly debauchery as often as they once did. Initially, the first to stray from the herd is ostracized. The other guys all harp on him for being "whipped" and letting a girl "control him". Then one by one they start to find partners and pair off and realize their friend with the girlfriend wasn't being an asshole, he was being in love and there is actually a difference. Some of them take much, much longer to realize this than others, some get it right away. There is a mourning process though, that they go through when they realize "it's never going to be the same as it used to be". 

During their 20's, guys are attempting to figure out who they are as a man, and no longer a boy. This is a hard process because there is a struggle between their urge to explore and experience and their feelings of necessity to be a family man, a father, a husband.  This inner struggle is different for all of them, some have much larger urges pulling them one way or the other, making the decisions they face a bit easier, but they all experience it. In your 20's, you see around you half of the people you know exploring other countries, vacationing, experiencing, enjoying the outside world. Then there is the other half that are getting married, starting businesses, buying homes, building a life on the inside. 

So this inner struggle, become materialized on the outside where there is living proof surrounding them that there are other paths to take. Guys in their 20's are still trying to decide who they are, which determines the paths taken. There is pressure to choose a path from the surrounding examples mixed with the internal questions and urges leaving guys in their 20's at a standstill. This leads to a lot of disappointment, confusion and heartbreak for those around them. 

This happens because that guy in his 20's makes promises and commitments (in relationships, friendships, career, family) based on what only a portion of him is sure he wants. Meanwhile, the other part of him is making choices that clash with the initial decisions leaving him and those around him confused and unsure. 

I haven't made it to my 30's just yet or had much interactions with males in that age bracket, so I'm not sure what happens after their 20's. What I do know, is that there is no male in his 20's who has it all figured out. As I said before, their 20's is a time for exploration of who they are and will become and what kind of man they will be. Although, being on the sidelines watching it all unfold (whether it is your boyfriend, friend, brother, son, etc) can be a little heartbreaking.