Saturday, March 3, 2012


If my running habit and graduate school (and frankly, my past dating history if we're being honest) are any indication of my behavior, I am in fact a masochist.

I'm never going to be a great runner. It is quite likely I will always struggle with running with my lungs and my knee problems. I will probably never run a marathon, and maybe never even a 10K.
I will never be a fast runner. I will likely never win a race against anyone other than 4th graders (and even then, they have the stamina and energy to beat me).
I may never develop an awesome form while running and will probably always resemble a wounded animal trying to scurry away from its predator.
I've come to terms with the fact that running is not a strength of mine, but a rather enormous weakness...and yet, I keep doing it.
It's similar to graduate school in that, no matter what tactic I use, what strategy I come up with... I continuously feel like I am falling short. I constantly feel like I'm up against odds that are far too great to ever actually succeed and yet... I'll  wake up and do it all again tomorrow. That must be the masochist in me.

There are moments, however, that shine a little light. Just enough to give me a glimmer of hope that maybe I'm not failing outright.
 "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." -Thomas Edison.
 I watched a movie last night that quoted Mr. Edison, One Week. Although I've heard the quote numerous times, I'd never actually listened.

When you're running, and you pass another person running sometimes they give you a nod or a wave. It is a small gesture, if you're too into what you're doing you may even miss it.
It is a gesture that says "I get it." it says "I respect what you're doing" because they are doing the same thing. This person who gives me this small gesture does not know whether I'm running a 7 mile route or just around the block. This person does not know if I've won any races, done any marathons or if this is my first time running in years. The fact is, this person does not care. This person does not see what I have done or what I will do...they only see what I am doing. Running. Regardless of all the things that I think it takes, to this person, and to the world I am a runner.

No comments:

Post a Comment