Friday, July 29, 2011

Where is the PAUSE button?

I feel like with the life I've chosen, that being graduate school, having a job, and attempting to have a social life I'm in this constant state of rushing and going full speed and using full capacity of my brain at all times.
So when I actually get a moment, or an afternoon where I have already worked in the morning, gone into the clinic and done a couple hours of paper work all the while dreaming of the moment I can get home and relax...only to get there, and be too restless to sit still but far too exhausted to do anything else.

I keep telling myself to "enjoy this time" of zoning out to a movie or catching up on episodes of my favorite shows online because if I can barely find the time to do it now, once school starts back up again and I add a full course load to my clinic practicum and working it is goodbye personal time completely.
But I'm just so used to going-going-going that when I get a chance to pause, I start running in circles instead of just slowing down, or halting motion momentarily.
Yesterday I was so close to a break down, felt like everything was piling up so high I'd crumble, and then almost like magically it all just either disappeared or faded to a level that felt manageable.
I'm not complaining, i rather enjoy the slightly lighter load, I just wish the universe didn't have to dump a million tons in my lap only to take off half a million in order for the extra work to feel like a relief.
The good news is, I have a fairly stress-free weekend ahead of me that I can hopefully slow down long enough to actually enjoy. One of my closest friends is in town from Hawaii and she is staying with me for about a week starting Sunday. I'm really hoping that my clinic/work load is light enough that I can spend some quality time with her. It's been a year since I've seen her and even longer since I've seen her sans her boyfriend. I am really looking forward to some personal, quality time with my Boo.

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