Sunday, June 3, 2012


Last Tuesday was my birthday.
We went out the weekend before to celebrate. One of my closest friends, Rob, was in town visiting his sister so we were able to go out for my birthday and he even came and met up with all of my grad school friends, which was nice to have a little piece of home with me.
The weekend celebration with school friends was slightly awkward. It was a joint birthday with a guy from my program, but a lot of people who went did not realize this and thought it was only for him, so that was embarrassing for me when it came to toasts and splitting up the check, I was left out of that.
My actual birthday consisted of a morning run, an afternoon meeting with a professor, a 45 minute phone call with Comcast that involved 6 transfers, tears and verbal obscenities. I watched some TV in sweats for the remainder of the afternoon. I did, however, receive some lovely gifts in the mail that day:
In the evening, I was taken out to dinner by some lovely ladies. The server even brought me a piece of cake with a candle it in, which was nice. I also was given a few gifts there.
All in all, it was a vast improvement from my awful birthday last year. I still cried on my birthday, but at least it wasn't from feeling alone and completely forgotten on my birthday. It was because the people at Comcast were being assholes. Completely different story.
I wish I could have been with my family. Birthday's just are not the same without them. Phone calls and cards in the mail are nice, but nothing beats family hugs and quality time.
Turning 28 did not have the same tough blow that turning 27 did. 27 meant the official end of my "mid-twenties". 27 means the entrance into your "late-twenties" and I think I definitely felt that last year. Turning 28, I'm still in my late-twenties and therefore there was no major transition. I can't really even grasp the whole 28 thing anyway I don't think at this point.
I wonder if birthdays will ever feel real? I'm guessing not if they haven't up to this point. What is a birthday anyway? Sometimes it just feels like a reminder that time is continuing on, and you're not where you thought you'd be/want to be/feel you should be and you haven't done what you set out to or lived enough or experienced enough.
That is an entirely too pessimistic attitude for it, I know. I should be looking at it as a celebration for everything I was able to accomplish, be it big, small or otherwise. To say anyone hasn't done enough in one year is discrediting everything that has been done.

This time last year:
I had just starting out running
I was about to finish my 1st year of grad school
I had been in a long distance relationship for only a few months
I was coming out of a horrible, dark place in life
I had never conducted therapy or seen a client
I was unemployed

And here I am, 1 year later:
I've been running for a year (still sucking at it, but still running  nevertheless)
I'm about to finish up my 2nd year of grad school
I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year and he is moving down here this summer and we took a vacation to another country together!
I'm seeing the light, I have goals and the future looks more hopeful than it did one year ago.
I have finished up my first practicum and preparing to start my second one and have now conducted therapy and seen clients
I have held a job for a year now.

So although things didn't pan out the way I'd hoped in some areas, and I'd wished things had gone differently or that I'd done more... I cannot discredit that which I have been able to accomplish.

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