Got another rejection today. This time, from a site in Alabama. I am less attached to the idea of this site, although the irony is that I had it listed as one of my "safe sites" as in, I thought I had the best chances of getting an interview for that one. Hmph. Whoops.
My 5 things:
1. I went to the gym 3 times: 1st time was a session with a personal trainer. He had me doing stair runs and my IT band got really angry with me about that. I also did yoga and tried spinning for the first (and quite likely LAST) time. Holy hell, I seriously almost didn't make it out of there alive.
2. I turned in all my applications so they're all completed. I even turned in a few early that don't have due dates until the end of the month.... all that just in time to get more rejections. (being a negative Nancy some how makes it easier, I guess).
3. J and I watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation :) Man, I absolutely love Christmas.
4. I met up with some of my friends for beer and good eats to catch up down in the south bay. It was totally worth the 45 mile drive for me. I haven't seen some of those girls in months.
5. Last night I accepted an invite to a random club in Oakland to see a band called Vagabondage with a girl from my program whom I've never actually hung out with one on one. It turned out to be a really great time and the other bands that played were awesome as well.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Monday, November 18, 2013
Week 46: Nov 11th-17th= Painful breakups with your life's plans
They say a break up is one of the best motivators for getting into shape/working out/losing weight. Well, J and I are still going strong but I had another "break up" of sorts happen last week and, although painful, it's proven to be the perfect motivator for me to get back on the fitness wagon.
I got a rejection email addressed "Dear esteemed applicant". So not only did I get the most painful rejection of my graduate career thus far, I got it as a mass email with the all other rejects. I applied to an internship site that was somewhat out of my league, ok really out of my league, BUT I was trying to give myself a little credit. The main appeal for me: it was in Portland. Getting rejected from an internship site itself isn't what hurt. I mean, I'm applying to (hopefully) 15 sites, and will only be offered a few interviews which leaves a lot of room for rejection, so that is expected.
Being rejected from the Portland site (which was the only one I even somewhat qualified for in that area) signifies a major loss for me. It means 1 more year away from home, one more year away from family and friends, another year before I can actually settle in and stop being transient, one more year of basically feeling like life plans need to be "on hold". While this "break up" with home is only temporary, and frankly it's been a long distance relationship since 2007 anyway, it still requires a mourning period. I need to grieve the loss of another year of holidays away, missing out on my niece, nephews, and goddaughters growing up, another year while J and I have to say "we'll get to that, once we move home" about our major life plans. So this break up with my life's plans was apparently just what I needed to jolt me out of this funk I've been in and get back to taking care of myself; the silver lining I suppose one could say.
My 5 things:
1. I started working out again: did 35 min on a treadmill (only about 3 of which were running) and I went to a Yoga class. Holy moly, was I sore after that! I'm still sore and that was 2 days ago.
2. I went in for an extra couple of hours to my practicum that weren't required and I didn't need to be there. I did it in order to build up rapport with a client and I think it was an excellent decision.
3. Watched Elf!
4. I made, or rather started to make, some ornaments that I plan to give as gifts. Working with my negative budget, this is likely going to be a very made-from-the-heart Christmas this year. I know my family will understand and I mean, my stuff isn't that bad ;)
5. Sunday I helped a woman who got robbed in my neighborhood. I didn't know her, and I'll likely never see her again, but I felt a moral obligation to help this person. I stayed with her through the police,the waiting, and the locksmith, until she was able to drive away. I had planned on spending the evening working on cover letters, but I think this was a bit more important.
I got a rejection email addressed "Dear esteemed applicant". So not only did I get the most painful rejection of my graduate career thus far, I got it as a mass email with the all other rejects. I applied to an internship site that was somewhat out of my league, ok really out of my league, BUT I was trying to give myself a little credit. The main appeal for me: it was in Portland. Getting rejected from an internship site itself isn't what hurt. I mean, I'm applying to (hopefully) 15 sites, and will only be offered a few interviews which leaves a lot of room for rejection, so that is expected.
Being rejected from the Portland site (which was the only one I even somewhat qualified for in that area) signifies a major loss for me. It means 1 more year away from home, one more year away from family and friends, another year before I can actually settle in and stop being transient, one more year of basically feeling like life plans need to be "on hold". While this "break up" with home is only temporary, and frankly it's been a long distance relationship since 2007 anyway, it still requires a mourning period. I need to grieve the loss of another year of holidays away, missing out on my niece, nephews, and goddaughters growing up, another year while J and I have to say "we'll get to that, once we move home" about our major life plans. So this break up with my life's plans was apparently just what I needed to jolt me out of this funk I've been in and get back to taking care of myself; the silver lining I suppose one could say.
My 5 things:
1. I started working out again: did 35 min on a treadmill (only about 3 of which were running) and I went to a Yoga class. Holy moly, was I sore after that! I'm still sore and that was 2 days ago.
2. I went in for an extra couple of hours to my practicum that weren't required and I didn't need to be there. I did it in order to build up rapport with a client and I think it was an excellent decision.
3. Watched Elf!
4. I made, or rather started to make, some ornaments that I plan to give as gifts. Working with my negative budget, this is likely going to be a very made-from-the-heart Christmas this year. I know my family will understand and I mean, my stuff isn't that bad ;)
5. Sunday I helped a woman who got robbed in my neighborhood. I didn't know her, and I'll likely never see her again, but I felt a moral obligation to help this person. I stayed with her through the police,the waiting, and the locksmith, until she was able to drive away. I had planned on spending the evening working on cover letters, but I think this was a bit more important.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Week 45: Nov 4th-10th= Chuggin along
I almsot didn't update today. It is late, I've been working on internship applications and running errands all day and I'm exhausted. BUT.... I still managed to find the time, which is how it should be. Is it sad that I'm actually proud of myself for this? I need every little pat on the back I can get right now, so I'll take it. Go me. woo!
My 5 things:
- Made homemade hot chocolate, even sugar free at that!
- I have been doing the '30 days of Being Thankful' thing. I did it last year, and it is surprisingly sometimes hard to come up with things based on how I am feeling certain days, which is all the more reason to really take the time to think because there are always things to be thankful for.
- I started a fundraiser in order to try to raise money for the ridiculous but necessary costs for applying to internship. It has already proven to be beneficial and I am already almost a quarter of the way there thanks to the generosity of others.
- I offered to help another practicum student who needed to give a full test battery to someone and be her test subject. It is a daunting task to be a subject because test batteries can take upwards of 6 to 8 hours to sit through. This was not a totally selfless act though, since I wanted to refresh my own mind about the assessments since I will hopefully have interviews coming up that I will likely need to know said information off the top of my head.
- Last night while watching endless TV shows on Netflix, instead of just sitting there I also filled in some of my Listography book my sister for me for my birthday this year. My goal is to complete the book during my 29th year, so I have until the end of May next year. It is a biiiigg book though ;)
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Internship costs= admitting I can't do it alone.
I've decided to humble myself a bit (ok, a LOT) and developed a creative way to hopefully be able to apply for internship this year. I've already turned in a few applications, but without more funding I won't be able to apply to too many more... and if I actually get interviews, I may not be able to get to them without funds to pay for travel costs.
So I am reaching out and asking for help to be able to afford this process.
http://crowdfundedu.com/fundraiser/gradschoolproblems
There isn't room for too much pride when you're in graduate school, which is a pretty difficult thing for me to swallow, but when it comes down to it.. if it is between keeping my pride, and being able to reach my goals... I choose to take a big heaping bite, swallow that pride, and wash it down with a shot of Tequila--only if you're buying though ;)
So I am reaching out and asking for help to be able to afford this process.
http://crowdfundedu.com/fundraiser/gradschoolproblems
There isn't room for too much pride when you're in graduate school, which is a pretty difficult thing for me to swallow, but when it comes down to it.. if it is between keeping my pride, and being able to reach my goals... I choose to take a big heaping bite, swallow that pride, and wash it down with a shot of Tequila--only if you're buying though ;)
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Week 44: Oct 28th-Nov 3rd= Surprise visitors!
You'd never know I used to post every Monday since lately it's been a Tuesday, Wednesday, sometimes even Thursday kind of thing. I am still posting though, so I suppose that is the positive way to look at it (since I'm so good with being positive).
This past week I actually got a really great surprise. It was Halloween and I was patiently awaiting trick-or-treaters (I'd only had 1 group the whole evening) when there was a knock on my door. I answered with my candy bowl in hand only to find my brother-in-law standing there. Totally in disbelief I've just barely closed the door and there is another knock. This time, I find 3 masked characters who start to make their way into my house. It was my sister, brother-in-law, and sister-in-law. They all showed up at my door as a surprise to let us know they're visiting for the weekend. They had come in for a funeral, which was an unfortunate circumstance but I was so grateful to be able to spend the weekend with them.
My 5 things:
1. Turned in 3 of my internship applications! One to my top choice and 2 others that are further down the totem pole.
2. Went to a comedy club in the city with my family. J had never been which was exciting to get to go to one with him and total bonus to have such a big group to go and laugh with.
3. J and I took my family members around touring San Francisco since most of them had never been down here.
4. Had my sister and her husband stay over one night. Got some quality down time with them.
5. We did a boat tour of the bay on their last day here which is something I had never done here. We even went under the Golden Gate bridge and around my favorite place in the bay: Alcatraz. The Alcatraz tours were all booked up so we didn't get to do that (I've done it once before but would gladly do it again!)
This past week I actually got a really great surprise. It was Halloween and I was patiently awaiting trick-or-treaters (I'd only had 1 group the whole evening) when there was a knock on my door. I answered with my candy bowl in hand only to find my brother-in-law standing there. Totally in disbelief I've just barely closed the door and there is another knock. This time, I find 3 masked characters who start to make their way into my house. It was my sister, brother-in-law, and sister-in-law. They all showed up at my door as a surprise to let us know they're visiting for the weekend. They had come in for a funeral, which was an unfortunate circumstance but I was so grateful to be able to spend the weekend with them.
My 5 things:
1. Turned in 3 of my internship applications! One to my top choice and 2 others that are further down the totem pole.
2. Went to a comedy club in the city with my family. J had never been which was exciting to get to go to one with him and total bonus to have such a big group to go and laugh with.
3. J and I took my family members around touring San Francisco since most of them had never been down here.
4. Had my sister and her husband stay over one night. Got some quality down time with them.
5. We did a boat tour of the bay on their last day here which is something I had never done here. We even went under the Golden Gate bridge and around my favorite place in the bay: Alcatraz. The Alcatraz tours were all booked up so we didn't get to do that (I've done it once before but would gladly do it again!)
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Week 43: Oct 21st-27th=near death by sickness
It finally happened. Working at a residential with children and their mothers, my high stress level, etc caught up to me and I got ridiculously sick. I mean, full on, totally and completely couch ridden sick with a severe head cold. Rendered me useless for DAYS! Perfect timing since internship applications are due this upcoming Friday. No pressure.
Oh and, I'm posting late....AGAIN. I think the entire month of October I may have been late. I'm slipping, in more ways than one.
My 5 things:
1. Worked a lot of my internship application stuff (even with my 3 day hiatus due to being ill beyond reason)
2. Talked with my supervisor about "self-care" as it, taking care of yourself (eating/sleeping right, exercising, fun things to counteract all the stress). I'm not doing any of it, and it is weighing on me, but at least I'm talking about it.
3. I started playing the incredibly silly game Candy Crush Saga. My mom is all into it and when she was hear she had me play a level she was stuck on and, well, it got me. It's something pointless to take my mind off the stress for a few minutes, so I'll accept that.
4. When the sickness hit, I actually took care of myself (ok, by that I mean I let J take care of me) but I actually slept, got meds, vitamins, fluids, lots of rest. Took 3 whole days off (ok, actually probably 2 and a half....but that is still good!). I'm not actually better, but I'm functioning more than I was.
5. Started the Breaking Bad series with J. INTENSE! Fun to have a series we watch together though.
Oh and, I'm posting late....AGAIN. I think the entire month of October I may have been late. I'm slipping, in more ways than one.
My 5 things:
1. Worked a lot of my internship application stuff (even with my 3 day hiatus due to being ill beyond reason)
2. Talked with my supervisor about "self-care" as it, taking care of yourself (eating/sleeping right, exercising, fun things to counteract all the stress). I'm not doing any of it, and it is weighing on me, but at least I'm talking about it.
3. I started playing the incredibly silly game Candy Crush Saga. My mom is all into it and when she was hear she had me play a level she was stuck on and, well, it got me. It's something pointless to take my mind off the stress for a few minutes, so I'll accept that.
4. When the sickness hit, I actually took care of myself (ok, by that I mean I let J take care of me) but I actually slept, got meds, vitamins, fluids, lots of rest. Took 3 whole days off (ok, actually probably 2 and a half....but that is still good!). I'm not actually better, but I'm functioning more than I was.
5. Started the Breaking Bad series with J. INTENSE! Fun to have a series we watch together though.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Week 42: Oct 14th-20th= Mom came to visit
I'm late posting again. This time, I blame my mom. Also, this post is going to be short and sweet. Lots of internship application stuff to be doing. Oh and dinner, and dissertation, and practicum.... doh. Priorities. Internships apps tonight. After this, of course.
Also... I'm realizing that it has been a struggle to come up with things...which means I really need to work on upping the amount of pleasurable activities in my life. I'll work on that, eventually.
My 5 things:
1. Spent a day with J when he first got back watching silly scary movies like SCREAM (during the day, of course, because scary movies are too frightening at night...even if they're silly).
2. Spent some time this last week on my internship application materials.Probably not as much as I should, but progress is being made.
3. My mom came to visit this weekend. She took an RV road trip down with a friend of hers and had been staying about an hour an d a half northeast of us so she came west for the weekend. She had never been to visit since I'd moved down to CA (which was going on over 3 years now) and she's the 1st person to visit from my family since I lived in the east bay (going on a year and a half now).
4. We showed Mom around San Francisco on Saturday. She had never been anywhere but the airport so we decided she needed to see some of the great views and other tourist type places.
5. We took Mom to Napa Sunday and to the Golden Gate bridge. It was absolutely freezing and ridiculously windy, but we went any way!
Also... I'm realizing that it has been a struggle to come up with things...which means I really need to work on upping the amount of pleasurable activities in my life. I'll work on that, eventually.
My 5 things:
1. Spent a day with J when he first got back watching silly scary movies like SCREAM (during the day, of course, because scary movies are too frightening at night...even if they're silly).
2. Spent some time this last week on my internship application materials.Probably not as much as I should, but progress is being made.
3. My mom came to visit this weekend. She took an RV road trip down with a friend of hers and had been staying about an hour an d a half northeast of us so she came west for the weekend. She had never been to visit since I'd moved down to CA (which was going on over 3 years now) and she's the 1st person to visit from my family since I lived in the east bay (going on a year and a half now).
4. We showed Mom around San Francisco on Saturday. She had never been anywhere but the airport so we decided she needed to see some of the great views and other tourist type places.
5. We took Mom to Napa Sunday and to the Golden Gate bridge. It was absolutely freezing and ridiculously windy, but we went any way!
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